


Big Doors

by EstellaDoreaBlack



Series: Tasha Yar: A Life In Review [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-07 10:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstellaDoreaBlack/pseuds/EstellaDoreaBlack
Summary: When Data threw himself on Tasha Yar, saving her from certain death, all he wanted to do was protect a friend. What came of that split-second action was far, far more significant. Because, as they say, big doors swing on little hinges. And, by the mere fact of her survival, Tasha Yar was going to change the course of history.





	1. The Little Hinge

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.
> 
> Despite archive warnings, this story isn't especially violent or graphic. Warnings apply only to a few chapters. I will also post individual warnings on those chapters so people can choose to read them or not.

"We are not going without our shuttle crew." Natasha Yar faced down the monstrous black creature that stood in her way.

"I warn you..."

"Enough." Tasha cut it off, her temper rising fast. "We have people who need attention. We won't hurt you, but we must help them."

The creature raised one arm - if you could call it that - and pointed directly at her. Before she could react, she felt something heavy crash into her, knocking her to the ground and pressing down on top of her. At first she thought it was the creature's doing, but then a voice spoke directly in her ear.

"Lieutenant Yar. Are you all right?"

"Data?" She looked up, trying to catch her breath, as the android scrambled off her. "What - what happened?"

"Whatever that thing is, it aimed some sort of energy beam at you." Will knelt by her side, Beverly close behind, tricorder already open. "Data jumped at you - I've never seen anyone move so fast - and knocked you down. The beam hit a rock," Will drew a deep, shaky breath, "and the rock exploded. If it had hit you..." He didn't need to finish. They all knew what could have happened - what very nearly _had_ happened.

"You've got a few broken bones, and you're a little banged up," Beverly reported. "I want to get you to sickbay."

Data looked as horrified as an android could at the doctor's pronouncement. "I am sorry. I did not intend to injure you."

"Data, if you _hadn't_ jumped at me, it would've been worse." Tasha rolled carefully onto her back, wincing as she did. "A few broken bones the doctor can heal. If that - whatever it was had hit me, it could have done damage no doctor could have fixed."

"She's right, Data." Beverly tapped her combadge. "Crusher to _Enterprise_ , beam us up."

xxxxxxxxx

"You wanted to see me, Lieutenant?"

"Data." Tasha bit her lip before continuing. "Data, I almost died today."

"But you did not."

"I know. But for humans, a brush that close with death - it makes us think about things we might not have otherwise. And I've been thinking about you. I want - I _need_ to talk to you about the Tsiolkovsky virus. When I told you that it never happened, I was more than embarrassed. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of what I did to you. I used you, Data, and then I was so ashamed of what I'd done that I couldn't even bring myself to apologize. And then today I realized that if I had died down on that planet, then I would never have told you, and you'd have lived for centuries not knowing how very sorry I am."

"I accept your apology. You do not need to feel guilt." He fixed her with a gentle look, tilting his head slightly. "I believe you are, as you say, being too hard on yourself. We were both behaving uncharacteristically, but I was as much a willing participant as you were."

"Data, there's something else." Tasha spoke quickly, needing to get this out before she could lose her nerve. "That day - I didn't lie when I said that I wanted gentleness and joy and love, and that I wanted them from you. That wasn't the virus talking, it was me. The virus just loosened my lips enough for me to say it. I'm - I'm in love with you, Data. I can't deny it any more. And if you're all right with it, I'd like to - to try having a relationship with you. A real relationship, not an intoxicated one-night stand."

The android looked surprised, if not displeased, but he responded quickly. "I would not be adverse to such a possibility."

"Not...adverse? Data, I -"

Data tipped his head slightly in confusion. "I do not understand. I believed this is what you wanted. Why are you not pleased?"

"I don't - I mean, I _do_ , I just -" She stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts, knowing that her stammering explanations were probably just confusing him more. "I want to be with you, Data. But to coerce you into something - that's unthinkable to me. I only want this if you do too."

"You are very special to me," he said after a moment. "I find the idea of a closer relationship with you...quite appealing. However, it may not be possible for us to want the same things, as I am incapable of love."

"Oh, Data, you sell yourself short. Maybe you can't feel the emotion of love in the way I can, but you show me that you care every time I see you. You have ever since we first met."

"I suppose you may be correct. However -"

"Data, do me a favor. Stop worrying so much about the words and just kiss me."

He leaned forward, took her face in his hands, and pressed his lips to hers. Her arms went around his shoulders and she returned his kiss with every bit of fire in her.


	2. A Lot More Complicated

Deanna Troi sat wide-eyed as her shipmates related what had happened down on Vagra II while she was trapped in the crashed shuttle. The near-deaths of both Tasha and Will, the unthinkable situation the thing had forced Data into, everything up to the moment when she and Picard had finally figured out how to defeat the horrid creature. "My God, I can't stop thinking about how many people almost died today. I put so many people in danger, just for a conference!"

"Deanna," Will cut her off sharply, " _you_ didn't put us in danger. That creature did. You had no way of knowing this was going to happen, and more to the point, nothing _did_ happen. Everyone's fine, physically anyway. Emotionally - well, you being ship's counselor and all, I might suggest you clear your calendar for the next few weeks."

"I really ought to check on Tasha," she commented. "Coming that close to death can shake a person up, even a person as stubborn and resilient as our Chief of Security. Is she still in Sickbay?"

Will shook his head. "No. She was released hours ago. Actually, I'm surprised she's not here yet. Or Data, for that matter, and he couldn't lose track of time if he wanted to. I wonder what's keeping them."

"Speak of the devil." Geordi nodded towards the door of Ten-Forward, which had just opened to admit the two officers Will had just been talking about. The pair spotted the rest of the senior staff and made a beeline for the table.

"Can we join you?" Tasha asked unnecessarily, already well on her way to sitting down in the one empty seat at the table.

"Of course," Will answered anyway. "Data, pull up a chair - I mean," he added quickly, remembering a story he'd heard about the android's time at Starfleet Academy, "you'll need to borrow a chair from another table."

"I have become familiar with the use of that idiom in the years since my well-publicized misunderstanding," the android replied, but he didn't appear affronted as he stepped across to a nearby table.

The senior staff were far too familiar with Data to be surprised when he simply picked up a chair with one hand and carried it over to the table his friends occupied, sliding it in to sit between Tasha and Geordi. What did surprise them, however, was the way that he laid his hand on the table, palm-up, as if expecting something. And they were even more shocked when Tasha giggled uncharacteristically, blushed a little, and placed her own hand in his.

"Data," Geordi asked, eyes going wide, "are you -?" He couldn't even finish the sentence.

Data seemed uncertain as to what the question referred to, but Tasha was able to read the engineer's question as clearly as if he'd spoken aloud. "Yes," she replied, unable to fully hide her excitement. "Geordi, I -"

But Geordi's face split into a grin. "I've been wondering how long it would take you two."

"You knew?" she asked incredulously. _How much does he know?_

Laughing, Will inadvertently answered the question on the Security Chief's mind. "Tasha, the only two people who _didn't_ know were the two of you!"

 _So they don't know_ everything. _Good._ "Yeah, well, almost dying can have that effect." She tried to grin, but it was more of a grimace.

"Let's not go there." Will's expression matched Tasha's.

"Agreed," Geordi put in. "We're all here, so let's enjoy it. Come on, let's have another round of drinks. To Data and Tasha!"

xxxxxxxxx

"There is something I do not understand. Perhaps you can assist me."

"Me?" Tasha repeated. "Explain something _you_ don't understand? I doubt I'll be much help. _I_ barely understand what's been happening to us."

The android appeared puzzled for a moment, then seemed to make the necessary connection. "I apologize. It appears I have not been entirely clear. I am, as you indicate, fully capable of understanding the nature of the time paradoxes that have been affecting the ship. The difficulty I am encountering relates to Captain Picard's reactions to Dr. Manheim's wife."

"Oh!" Tasha's eyes widened as she too fit the pieces together. "Okay, _that_ I might be able to help with. What do you want to know?"

"By his own account, the Captain's relationship with Jenice Manheim was quite some time ago. She has been married to the Doctor for nearly twenty years. And yet, the interactions between the two of them have been quite...abnormal. At least, it seems so to me."

"It _is_ so," she confirmed. "I've noticed it too. I suppose the difference is that I more or less expected it."

"You did?"

"Sure. Well, maybe not the exact details, but the general idea. You see, Data, human emotions - well, they have a habit of sticking around long after they're useful. I'm sure you've noticed it with me a time or two; even though I've been off my home planet for over ten years, I still occasionally experience emotional reactions based on that experience."

"I have noticed. You are saying that the situation between Captain Picard and Jenice Manheim is analogous?"

She considered for a moment. "Not perfectly so. But it's a good example to illustrate my point. Feelings linger, whether we want them to or not. And from what I've heard, the relationship between the two of them ended rather...abruptly. If that's so, it would make the situation even more complex for them."

"Why?"

The question brought Tasha up short. She _knew_ the answer, in a sort of instinctive sense, but she'd never been called upon to put it into words before. "Well," she said after a moment, "I guess it all goes back to the human concept of closure."

"Closure." The android blinked as he often did when accessing his memory files. "Ah. A sense of resolution or conclusion."

"Exactly. When two people decide, mutually, to end a relationship, while it can be difficult, there can still be closure. The relationship has been concluded in a definitive way. It's like..." she searched her own brain for a reference he might understand. "Like reading an interesting book and coming to the end. It might be difficult or unpleasant to realize there's no more story left, but all the major plot lines have been resolved. But an abrupt breakup - an abrupt end to _any_ relationship, romantic or otherwise - would be more like beginning to read a book only to find that it ends before the plot is resolved. You don't get a resolution."

"Ah." Another blink, this time assimilating the information into his neural net. "I believe I understand. Thank you."

She smiled. "Of course. Happy to help."

"I do have one more question, if it is not an imposition?"

"No. Go ahead."

"Regarding our upcoming mission to Pacifica. As I understand, it is a scientific survey. And yet, the level of excitement that I have witnessed is more appropriate to an approaching shore leave. I do not fully understand."

Tasha laughed. "Technically, you're right, it's a scientific survey. But Pacifica is a very idyllic place, and the nature of the survey means that just about everyone will get a chance to take a break and see what the planet has to offer. And this time," she added, "that 'everyone' will include you, Mr. Data. I intend to show you _exactly_ why Pacifica is a planet to be excited about."

xxxxxxxxx

"It looks like debris." Tasha continued to examine the small objects on the screen. "From a ship."

"It could be one of those ships that was orbiting Dytallix," Will suggested.

It was a sobering thought. A top-security emergency call had diverted them from the much-anticipated mission to Pacifica, bringing them instead to this remote system to join three other Federation ships. And now, barely an hour later, it appeared that one of those three might have been reduced to space-borne rubble.

"We _are_ in close proximity to that planet," Geordi pointed out.

"Identifying marks, Lieutenant?" Picard asked, turning to Tasha.

"No sir, but from the amount of debris here," she took a deep breath before completing a sentence she knew would devastate both the Captain and Beverly, "I'm sorry, it can only be the _Horatio._ "

Beverly stood and stared at the viewscreen. Picard himself seemed numb with shock.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Captain, what's going on here?"

"What do you mean, Lieutenant?"

"Oh, come _on_ , captain. First the Code 47, then the detour to Dytallix, then you lie to Beverly about what happened down on the planet - yes, I knew you were lying - then one of the same ships we saw in orbit of Dytallix is mysteriously destroyed, and now we're going back to Earth. Not to mention pulling Data off the bridge on a secret assignment."

"I suppose there's no point in trying to convince you it's all a series of coincidences?"

"No sir, there isn't."

"The answer is I'm not entirely sure. This actually started a few months ago with Admiral Quinn. He warned me about some kind of subversion. I'm sorry to say I wrote him off as overreacting. Then Walker called me -"

"It was _him_ on the Code 47."

"Exactly. He asked me to meet him on Dytallix, and he too warned me about a conspiracy. The meeting was an absolute secret, which is why I told Beverly I hadn't seen him. Without giving away too much, I then asked Data to investigate Walker's claims that Starfleet Command was acting oddly. When the _Horatio_ was destroyed, and then Data found information backing up Walker's claims, I decided to turn us around."

Tasha just stared at him, speechless.

"I must ask you, Lieutenant, not to discuss this with the crew. I have only told this to Commander Riker, Data, and now you."

"I'm honored that you did tell me, sir. Yes, I know I did ask, but you didn't have to answer."

"I know I can trust you, Lieutenant - Tasha. You've earned that trust."

"Thank you, sir."

xxxxxxxxxx

"He just fell?" Tasha was doubtful. Will had seemed almost panicked when he'd called for security - not consistent with a simple accident.

"That is what I said. Now if you'll excuse me, my time here is most limited."

"Admiral," Geordi jumped to his feet to intercept Quinn on his way out, "don't you think we should wait until the doctor gets here?"

He barely finished his question before the Admiral picked him up and threw him through the door.

Tasha reacted on pure instinct. Her phaser was instantly in her hand, and as Quinn turned to her, she fired. He stumbled back but recovered, shocking her. _That should be enough to stun a Terran elephant._ She fired again, this time not letting up until the Admiral finally crumpled to the carpet.

"What is going on in here?" Beverly walked in to see two of the room's occupants lying unconscious on the floor, the third in the hallway and just coming to, and Tasha, the only apparently unharmed member of the group, standing with her phaser trained on Quinn.

"He attacked Geordi, and probably Will too although we can't be sure until he wakes up." She noticed Geordi standing shakily in the doorway. "Are you all right?"

"If I could see, I'd be seeing stars," he remarked wryly, drawing smiles from Tasha and Beverly despite the severity of the situation.

"What exactly is happening around here?" Tasha wondered. This seemed to be fitting in perfectly with everything the captain had told her. "What's up with him?"

Beverly turned from where she was examining Will. "Let's find out."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Data, look at this."

"What is it?" Data looked over from the empty capsule he was examining.

"Look." Tasha pointed at the capsule she was standing in front of. "This one's intact."

"And this one," Data said, indicating another capsule. "And this." He was as close to excitement as an android could be.

" _Commander Data, return to the_ Enterprise _immediately_." Will's voice came over the combadge.

"We have run into an unusual situation, sir," Data answered. "There are people on board. Frozen."

" _Frozen? How many?"_

"Three. The vehicle has suffered severe damage. Most of her systems have failed."

" _Are you suggesting they should be transferred to the_ Enterprise?"

"I do not believe we should leave them here, sir," the android replied. "With your permission, we will be returning with three containers."

Will's sigh was audible over the open line. " _Whatever you do, do it quickly_."

"Oh, boy," Tasha mumbled as they prepared for transport. "We're going to have some explaining to do."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Captain, can I talk to you for a minute? There's something you should know."

"What is it, Lieutenant?" Picard was already stressed, but he knew Tasha wouldn't bother him unless it was important.

"You know that piece of space debris that was floating near the Starbase?"

"What about it?"

"Well Data wanted to go over and examine it, and we had time, so Commander Riker let him go and sent me with him. Well - there were three people on board, frozen in some kind of stasis. Right before you came aboard, Data requested and received permission to transfer them to the _Enterprise_."

"And you want me to do what exactly about it?"

"What you do, sir, is up to you," she replied. "I just figured you ought to hear this from me instead of through the grapevine, sir."

"I see. Thank you for telling me, Lieutenant." He tapped his combadge. "Mr. Data, report to the Observation Lounge, immediately."

xxxxxxxxxx

"I think our lives just became a lot more complicated."

"Agreed, Captain." Tasha looked around at the crew. "But I think we're ready for everything life throws at us. What do you say?"

"Agreed," Data answered.

"I'm with you," Geordi added.

"You bet," said Will.

"Absolutely," Deanna put in.

"I am ready." Worf seemed to stand even taller than usual.

Picard allowed a smile to cross his face. "I have full confidence in all of us. Now," he turned to Worf and indicated the twentieth-century financier, "get him off my bridge."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I wanted to cover all the remaining episodes in Season One briefly; for the record, I will NOT be covering every single episode of the series in this fic. However, this will be a LONG fic, so this is your warning.
> 
> The mention of Data's "well-publicized misunderstanding" is something that was apparently in one of the EU novels (I've heard about, but not read, it) where someone told him to "pull up a chair" and he, well, literally pulled up a chair. Which was bolted to the floor. When I realized I'd used that expression, I had to include the reference.
> 
> Most episodes from now on will be covered in more detail.


	3. Come and Go

"You're leaving?"

Beverly looked around the observation lounge, taking in the shocked expressions of the senior staff. "I've been offered a position as head of Starfleet Medical, and I've accepted."

"Beverly, you've barely been on the _Enterprise_ a year!" Will protested.

"I know, I know. It wasn't an easy decision by any means. But it's important step forward for me."

"But we need you here," Will objected. "Do you have any idea where we'd be if it wasn't for you? If we hadn't all killed ourselves the way those people on the _Tsiolkovsky_ did, we'd have died from that virus that infected the entire ship, or been killed by the Crystalline Entity when Lore dropped our shields."

"Come on, now," said Beverly, blushing. "That last one was mostly Wes."

"And Wes wouldn't have been on the _Enterprise_ if you weren't," Will pointed out. "I assume he'll be leaving with you?"

"Not immediately, but soon."

"Beverly will be leaving in a few days. Ensign Crusher will be remaining on board for another few weeks before leaving to join her. I am certain they will both be missed."

"You can say that again," Will mumbled.

"Did you not hear properly the first time? I believe the captain's volume was sufficient. Perhaps you might want to have your hearing examined."

Data's remark broke the somber mood and had the entire senior staff laughing. Even Picard grinned.

"Did I say something humorous?"

"Data," Tasha explained, "when Will told the Captain that he could 'say that again', he wasn't actually suggesting that the Captain repeat his statement. He was expressing the fact that the Captain's statement was so true that it might warrant repetition."

"Ah."

Picard gave the laughter a moment to die down before calling their attention back to him. "There is another staff change I would like to make everyone aware of. Lieutenant Commander Lynch will be leaving us as well."

"That's what, our fourth chief engineer this year?" Tasha asked. "We do seem to run through them."

"It would seem so, Commander. Which makes me think that it may be time to rethink how we select the Chief Engineer for this ship. I've spoken to Commander Riker and he agrees with me. Instead of recruiting a new member of the crew, I will be giving this task to someone already onboard."

"Who, sir?" Geordi blurted out. "I mean - I don't mean to question your orders, but I don't think there's anyone in Engineering who's qualified."

But Picard only smiled once again. "As it happens, Mr. La Forge, I agree with you completely. That's why I'm giving the position to you. Congratulations, Lieutenant - and that's full Lieutenant, by the way - La Forge."

Geordi opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out. He wasn't alone; the only members of the senior staff not speechless with shock were Will, who had known in advance, and Data, who had never been struck speechless by anything. "Geordi, are you not pleased?"

"Of course - of course I am," he managed to get out. "I'm just shocked."

"You know more about Engineering than anyone in Engineering," Will told him. "And you've proved in the incident at Minos that you know how to lead and take charge. You're the best man for the job, and you deserve the promotion."

"Commander Riker is correct," Data added.

"Wow." Geordi's vocal cords seemed to be working again. "Thanks. I'm honored."

"Who is replacing Dr. Crusher?" Data asked. "The model you employed to replace Mr. Lynch would not be appropriate in this case; I do not think there is anyone else on board with the proper level of expertise to become Chief Medical Officer."

"You're right, of course, Mr. Data. We will, in fact, be taking on a new crewmember to fill that vacancy; a Doctor," he glanced down at his PADD, "Pulaski. She'll be transferring from the USS _Repulse._ We'll be rendezvousing with them two days after Dr. Crusher's departure."

The reaction from the senior staff was mostly noncommittal. Beverly gave a small nod of approval, apparently recognizing the name, but to the others, it was just a name.

With one exception, Picard realized after a moment. Tasha's eyes had gone wide, and she suddenly seemed even more interested in the conversation than before. He turned to her. "Lieutenant?" She didn't reply, so he tried harder. "Lieutenant Yar?"

That got her attention finally. "Yes, Captain?"

"Lieutenant, is everything all right?"

Tasha flushed slightly as she realized what had just happened. "Everything's fine, Captain. Just, um, an odd coincidence, that's all."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, sir."

She didn't seem inclined to elaborate, and he didn't press. "Well, then, if there's nothing else...dismissed. Oh, Mr. La Forge, I expect you to report to Engineering at 0700 hours tomorrow, in the proper uniform and with the proper rank insignia."

"Aye, sir." Geordi couldn't keep back the smile that split his face.

xxxxxxxxx

"Lieutenant La Forge says we will be able to engage the warp drive within the hour," Will reported as the Captain came onto the bridge.

"Grand. Mr. Data," he added, "when we have a complete list of all the specimens we will be carrying, I want you and Doctor, er -"

"Pulaski, sir," the android supplied.

"Doctor Pulaski, right. I want you to go through them."

"Aye, sir."

"By the way." Picard seemed to realize something in that moment. "Where is our new doctor? Has she reported in?"

"Not yet," Will replied.

Picard sighed. "Sickbay, this is the captain."

" _Sickbay, aye_ ," replied a voice the senior staff recognized as Richard Hill, one of the less senior doctors.

"Is Doctor Pulaski there?"

Hill hesitated a moment. " _Um, no, sir. The Doctor is in Ten Forward._ "

"Thank you." The Captain said tersely.

" _Aye, sir._ "

"A few hours on board," Picard muttered to himself, "and already she's found Ten Forward."

"I'll go get her." Riker offered.

"No." Picard's face was set in an expression that boded ill for the subject of his ire. "I'll go."

As he left the bridge, Worf made a quiet comment on the matter. "Not the best way to meet your new Captain."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha vaguely heard Picard talking to Geordi as he entered the conference room, but the words didn't register. All her attention was focused on the newcomer, and she could barely believe what she was seeing.

There had been a moment of recognition when Picard had mentioned the name, but the Security Chief had quickly dismissed it as a coincidence. 'Pulaski' might not be the most common Terran name, but it was far from unusual, and she didn't have to ask Data to crunch the numbers to know that the odds of ending up at the same posting as any other single individual were astronomical. Not to mention that she hadn't had any way to be sure that the Pulaski she knew was even still in Starfleet, let alone preparing to take the post on the _Enterprise._ But here she was, against those very odds.

"This is Dr. Katherine Pulaski," Picard said quickly as he cut off the comm channel with Engineering, finally drawing Tasha's attention. "We'll handle the formal introductions later." He fell silent, clearly uncomfortable, and Tasha noticed for the first time that Deanna, who had come in with Pulaski and the Captain, was seated on the far end of the table, away from the others.

"Counselor Deanna Troi is pregnant," he said finally, and then, as if he had not made himself clear with the first statement, "she - she is going to have a baby."

"Baby?" Will gasped, and everyone turned simultaneously to look at Deanna. "This is a surprise."

"More so for me," Deanna answered softly.

"This pregnancy is unlike anything I have ever encountered," Dr. Pulaski said as she pulled up some images on the screen. "Since she came to me a few hours ago, I have done two complete examinations of Counselor Troi." She turned on the screen to reveal a full picture of the fetus. "The fetus is about halfway through the first trimester, about six weeks old. Now, understand, we believe conception took place eleven hours ago."

"What?" Will couldn't contain another shocked outburst.

"Gets better," the doctor continued, changing the picture on the screen. "This is the second exam, one hour later. Now, it's consistent, except for the fact that it appears the fetus is several weeks older. At this growth rate, Counselor Troi will have her baby in about thirty-six hours. The normal gestation rate for a Betazoid is ten months."

"I don't mean to be indelicate," Will broke in, clearly unable to repress his burning question, "but who's the father?"

Deanna shook her head slowly, as if to deny Will's - quite reasonable - assumption. "Last night, while I slept, something which I can only describe as a presence entered my body."

"A life-form of unknown origin and intent is breeding right now inside Counselor Troi," the Captain said half to himself. "Our purpose here is to determine what is to be done about this. Discussion."

"Wait," Will interrupted again. "Now let me get this straight. Deanna was impregnated by - what? Doctor, what do the tests show? Is it a humanoid, an alien?"

"It's a male human. Well, half-human, half-Betazoid."

"Exactly the same as Deanna," Will said unnecessarily.

"In every way. In fact, there is nothing to indicate that there are any genetic patterns other than hers."

"I don't think this is a random occurrence," Will suggested. "I think there's a purpose here and a reason. What, I don't know."

"I'm at a loss as to what the next step is," Tasha admitted.

"Captain." Worf, on the other hand, seemed _very_ certain of his position. "Obviously, the pregnancy must be terminated for the safety of the ship and crew."

"We can't assume the intent was belligerent," Will objected.

"That is the safest assumption," the Klingon growled back.

"Worf -" Tasha began, but she couldn't seem to find the words to explain what she thought. Rationally, Worf's position made perfect sense, but her emotional side was crying out against the callous dismissal in his words.

"Captain," Data pointed out, "this is a life-form. Not to allow it to develop naturally would deny us the opportunity to study it."

Worf chose to ignore Tasha's unfinished rebuke, responding to Data instead. " If the fetus is aborted, laboratory analysis is still possible."

"Doctor," Will asked hesitantly, "is there any health risk to Counselor Troi if the fetus is aborted?"

"Captain," Deanna interrupted before the doctor could answer, "do whatever you feel is necessary to protect the ship and crew, but know this: I'm going to have this baby."

"Then it seems," Picard concluded, "that the discussion is over."

As the senior staff began to file out, Tasha's mind was racing. Half over the impending baby, and half over the doctor, who had barely seemed aware that she was even there. She shook herself internally. _There'll be time for that later. Right now, there's work to do._

xxxxxxxxx

"He's kicking," Deanna whispered incredulously. "I never knew."

"Knew what?" the doctor asked kindly.

"How incredible it could be."

If Deanna was to be perfectly honest, she had initially been anything but thrilled that this had happened so soon after the change of medical staff. Beverly had been her friend; instead, she was now stuck with a virtual stranger to cope with this unexpected and somewhat frightening turn of events. But Katherine Pulaski no longer felt like a stranger to Deanna. From the first moment she'd walked into sickbay, confused and uncertain, the older woman had shown caring and compassion in droves.

The doctor chuckled softly. "Maybe you ought to explain _that_ to the senior staff."

Deanna smiled, but shook her head. "They were only doing their jobs. Even you acknowledge that this pregnancy is far from ordinary. They'd hardly be good officers if they ignored the possibility of trouble that comes with uncertainty."

"That Klingon was doing a lot more than acknowledging a possibility. He seemed to have already made up his mind."

The counselor only shrugged. "It's how he is, I can accept that. In his own way, he's just trying to protect me and the ship."

"That may be so," Pulaski admitted, "but I still don't like the idea of someone with that mentality being in charge of the 'precautions' for this delivery. He could easily end up doing more harm than good."

"Oh! No, that's not - Worf's not in charge of security. Even if he does act like it sometimes. No, the Lieutenant in charge of security is human, and as I recall she barely spoke at all after the announcement. Certainly she wasn't insisting on assuming hostile intent."

"She...the blonde woman?" It was a safe enough guess, the blonde had been the _only_ woman in the room besides herself and Deanna. "Yes, I noticed she didn't say much."

"That's fairly typical of her, yes. She's an excellent security officer, but unlike Worf, she's inclined to listen to all sides of a debate before she makes up her mind. Especially in a situation like this, where there isn't really a precedent. She also mentioned something about wanting to discuss the security arrangements with you beforehand. I'm sure she'll do whatever she can to make the delivery as easy as possible for both of us while still satisfying the Captain's concerns over security."

Pulaski was nodding now. "Good. I appreciate that. Well, Deanna, you seem to be doing as well as ever. You can go back to your quarters to rest, but call me immediately if something doesn't feel right, okay? Better be safe than sorry."

"I understand. Thank you, Doctor."

xxxxxxxxx

A soft tap drew the doctor out of her analysis of Deanna's latest scan. "Yes, come in."

"Excuse me, doctor." The soft voice seemed oddly familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." Looking up, Pulaski noted that she got the same sense of vague familiarity from the woman's features. She hadn't noticed it when she'd seen her earlier, at the senior staff meeting, but then, she hadn't had cause to pay much attention to the one person in the room who hadn't been involved in the debate. "You must be the Head of Security. Deanna told me you'd be stopping by."

"Yes, that's right."

"Sit down, Lieutenant, please." She indicated a chair on the other side of her desk. "And, before we start...do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"No," the younger woman replied, a bit bemused. "Go ahead."

"Well, it's just...I have the strangest feeling that I've met you before."

Tasha felt her breath catch in her throat. _Is it possible..._ "We have."

"Oh, good." The doctor laughed. "I was starting to wonder if deja vu was running away with me."

The blonde shook her head. "No, it - we did. It was on the _Livingston._ You were one of the ship's doctors, and I was...a patient." It was the best she could come up with.

"The _Livingston_ ," Pulaski repeated. "Wow. That feels like a lifetime ago."

"Thirteen years. At least, that's how long it's been for me."

"That sounds about right for me as well, Lieutenant - forgive me, I didn't catch your name, and I can't seem to remember it either."

She pressed her lips together, trying to hide any outward sign of disappointment. "Lieutenant Yar."

Pulaski blinked, eyes going wide. " _Tasha_ Yar? My God. You - I can barely recognize you, even now that I know." She nearly tripped over her desk in her haste to get around it and hug the younger woman. "You look wonderful."

Tasha stood, stunned, for a moment, than lifted her arms to return the embrace. "When you didn't recognize me, I thought - I thought you'd forgotten. I thought, you know, it probably wasn't as memorable for you as it was for me."

"Oh, no, I couldn't forget." She stepped back from the embrace, looking over Tasha again. "But while _I_ might look much the same as I did fourteen years ago, you've changed a lot."

Tasha smiled, feeling the weight that had been on her shoulders since the staff meeting begin to lift. "For the better, I hope. I seem to recall I didn't look like much the last time you saw me."

"Well, you certainly look healthier," the doctor conceded with a laugh. "But you've also grown up a lot. And look at you, here, senior staff of the _Enterprise_. I knew you were thinking about joining Starfleet, but to have come this far - _most_ officers, no matter their backgrounds, never do."

"You did," Tasha pointed out a bit cheekily.

Kate laughed. "So I did. But you beat me by a year, and I've been in Starfleet a lot longer than you have. Speaking of which," she added, "I doubt you came down here to reminisce."

"No," the younger woman said with a laugh. "It's about Deanna's delivery. Captain Picard is worried about security - and I don't entirely blame him. This is uncharted territory, after all. But the last thing I want is to make things more difficult for her."

Pulaski nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"I think a team of three should be more than adequate," Tasha replied, slipping back into her professional mode. "I have two security officers under my command right now who have given birth themselves. I figure I'll use them on the detail, since they'll be able to empathize and act accordingly - not to mention they're less likely to faint if they catch a glimpse of the less glamorous side of the procedure," she added with an uncharacteristic giggle. "And Deanna and I have been friends for years, we trust each other completely. I figure that'll be as good a group of three as any; we'll be right there to respond if something does happen, but it shouldn't make Deanna uncomfortable."

Pulaski was nodding. "Well thought out. And I agree." She chuckled. "I'm certainly glad it's you in charge, and not that Klingon who I originally thought was Head of Security. He probably would've grabbed whoever he thought was best-equipped to stop a threat, with no regard to any other aspect."

"Worf means well," Tasha replied with a small smile of her own. "He really does. It's just - he's a protector at heart, that's all. Sometimes that takes over, and he's not able to see other aspects of the situation. I'm sure that in his own way, he felt he was protecting Deanna from a potential threat."

"Well," the doctor said, raising an eyebrow, "you certainly have an...unusual senior staff."

"Maybe," Tasha replied warmly. "But I like them."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, the relationship between Tasha and Kate Pulaski is entirely my own invention. There's nothing in the show to suggest they were ever even on the same planet, let alone that they were close. Despite my love of Data, I've never hated Pulaski, and I wanted to explore her character in more depth.


	4. Eyes of a Child

"Lieutenant Yar, assemble your security team in Sickbay." Data's voice came over the comm. Picard waved her off the bridge as Worf moved to take her place.

"You don't have to do anything, Data," Deanna was saying as her friend walked in. "Just be with me." She turned to Tasha. "Data's volunteered to stand in for the father."

"Just don't get any ideas when this is all over." Tasha grinned at the duo. “Either of you.”

"There's nothing to be nervous about," Pulaski added.

"Nervous? I find this very interesting,” Data replied as Tasha turned to give instructions to her security team. “Although I understand in technical terms how life is formed, there is still a part of the process which eludes me. The child inside you -- are you able to access his thought process? Does he have thoughts? You are aware of him -- is he aware of you? When does that awareness begin?"

"It's happening," Deanna gasped.

The android managed to completely miss the point. “How does it feel?”

“Data!” she protested. “Now!”

“Now?” He glanced up, seeming to figure it out, a moment later. “Now! Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!”

"This is an impatient baby!" Kate hurried over. "He's eager to make his appearance. Do you want something for the pain? It will in no way diminish the experience."

"I have felt no pain."

"None?"

"No, none at all."

Tasha and the other two looked on silently as Kate murmured reassurances and gentle instructions. Data, too, was silent as he held the counselor’s hand. Out of the corner of her eye, Tasha saw Will slip into the room. He hung back, clearly not wanting to interfere and yet wanting to be there for Deanna.

"I've got him," Kate told Deanna after a surprisingly short time. "You can relax." She cut the umbilical cord, carefully wrapped the baby in a blanket, and handed him to Deanna. "Are easy births the norm for Betazoids?"

"Not according to my mother."

Kate turned to the security team. “It’s all right. You can relax. It’s just a baby.”

Tasha waved off the other two, but she approached Deanna, allowing her security posture to falter in favor of just being a friend. “He’s beautiful.”

"Thank you for allowing me to participate." Data seemed completely in awe of what he had just seen. "It was remarkable."

"Do you have a name?" Kate asked.

"Ian Andrew, after my father."

Will finally entered the room completely, and Deanna turned to him. "Were you here all along?"

"If he says no, he's lying," Tasha stage-whispered.

"He's beautiful, Deanna." Will kissed her gently on the cheek. "Just like his mother."

Tasha started to reach out a hand and then stopped herself. "May I?"

"Of course." Deanna took her friend's hand and guided it to the baby's head.

"He's perfect." The baby cooed as Tasha touched him.

"He likes you." Kate smiled.

"You want to hold him?"

"Deanna, I don't think --"

"Come on, Tasha. Here." She deposited the baby in Tasha's arms. "Support his head -- there, see? It's easy."

Tasha rocked the newborn gently, completely amazed. He was so tiny, so fragile, so trusting. He seemed to stare up at her with huge dark eyes that so resembled Deanna's.

"Oh, Deanna." She couldn't say anything else. She carefully handed the child back to his mother.

“How do you feel?” Kate asked the new mother.

“Fine. Wonderful. Thank you, Doctor, for everything.”

xxxxxxxxx

"Deanna! _Deanna!_ "

"What is it?"

"Ian, show mommy what you just did." Tasha lifted the little boy and set him gently on his feet. He immediately took several steps before falling.

"My God." Deanna knelt down next to her son. "And he's only twelve hours old. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was about a year."

"Fast pregnancy, fast growth -- at this rate he'll be applying to the academy in a couple of days." Tasha ruffled the boy's dark hair.

"Mama!" Ian reached out his hands to Deanna.

"That has to be a record," the counselor remarked as she picked him up. "First steps and first words within minutes of each other."

"Mama mama mama." He turned and looked over at the other woman in the room. "Tassa."

The blonde woman's jaw dropped. “He...” She couldn't even manage to finish the sentence.

But Deanna understood. “He knows you, Tasha.”

xxxxxxxxx

"The Captain came in earlier. He was -- disconcerted."

"I don't blame him." Tasha looked over at her friend's son, who now appeared to be about six. "I'm disconcerted. Don't get me wrong, I love him. but I'm disconcerted."

"Tasha, look at this!" Ian held up a picture he had drawn. "It's you!"

"Very good, Ian." Deanna's compliment wasn't just the mark of a proud parent. The drawing was amazing for a child Ian's apparent age.

"Here." He handed it to Tasha. "It's for you."

"Thank you, Ian." She leaned over and hugged him. Disconcerting or not, the child still held her heart.

xxxxxxxxx

"What's the problem?"

"We don't know exactly. But there's some strange radiation that's messing with the containment of this virus." Geordi briefly removed his VISOR to rub his eyes, a clear sign he was beyond exhausted. "My first big project as chief engineer, and I screw it up big-time."

"You couldn't have accounted for everything,” she replied, squeezing his shoulder gently. “I still think you're the only one who could've got it this good. Whatever this thing is, it’s bigger than all of us. It’s not your fault.”

"Thanks, Tasha.” He smiled, but it was forced. “Now if I can just figure out how to stop us all getting killed, we'll be in great shape."

xxxxxxxxx

“ _Sickbay, this is Counselor Troi, I need the Doctor in my quarters now!_ ”

Pulaski jumped up at Deanna's frantic cry, and she wasn’t the only one. Abandoning their analysis of the problem, Data, Tasha, and Will all hurried to follow the doctor.

Deanna's exclamation upon their entry only caused more concern. “It's Ian. Hurry.”

“What happened?” The doctor’s tone was a forced calm. “Did he eat anything? Did he fall?”

“No,” Deanna sobbed out.

But Data was observing something else entirely. “Commander,” he said softly to Will, “the child is the source of the unusual radiation.”

“Ian said he's the reason the ship is in danger,” Deanna whispered.

“That analysis is correct.” Even Data had softened his tone, seeming to recognize the emotions involved.

“I'm losing life signs,” Pulaski said somberly.

“You must save him,” Deanna pleaded. Tasha attempted to speak, to add her own voice to the counselor’s pleas, but she was unable to form words and could only watch in silence.

Kate pressed a hypospray to the boy’s neck, but there was no visible effect. She scanned him again, then put the tricorder down and reached for his neck to check manually for a pulse. Silence hung in the air for a long moment before she spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Deanna let out a gasping sob. As Kate stepped back to allow the grieving mother some space, the Betazoid fell to her knees beside the boy’s bed.

Tasha let out a muffled cry of her own, reaching out for Data and burying her face in his shoulder. For a moment, Kate couldn’t help but wonder why the young woman would turn to the android, of all people. But she pushed that out of her mind, ashamed to have even had the thought at such a time, and she reached out to lay a hand on Tasha's back.

At that moment, something remarkable and inexplicable happened. The still form of what had been Ian began to shimmer, and points of light rose from the body. As those points coalesced into a single sphere of light, what had been the body of a young boy disappeared completely. The sphere came to rest in Deanna's cupped hands for a moment, and then, as the counselor smiled through her tears, it rose into the air, circled back to brush gently across Tasha's hair, and then glided through the ship’s hull and into space.

It was Geordi’s voice, coming through Riker’s combadge, that broke the awed silence. “Commander Riker, the containment field has stabilized.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he replied, still sounding stunned by all that had transpired.

“Then Ian was right,” Deanna said softly. “He was the cause.”

“Apparently so.”

She drew a deep breath, then looked up. “He is a life force entity. When we passed each other in space, he was curious about us, so he decided the best way to learn was to go through the process. To be born, to live as one of us and in that way to understand us. He never meant any harm.”

“There was a moment when you smiled,” Will said curiously.

“He said, thank you. I told him we will miss him. And I will.”

Tasha lifted her head from Data’s shoulder for a moment, still choking back tears. “So will I.”

xxxxxxxxx

As the terrifying cargo was beamed off the ship, Pulaski let out an audible sigh of relief. “That’s one humanitarian task I’d be happy to never do again.” She chuckled lightly. “I’ll say this for it, though. A scare like that certainly gets the heart rate going.”

“The scare in question was not a part of the mission parameters,” Data pointed out in his normal, even tone. “If the mission had proceeded according to the plan we created, the danger to those aboard the _Enterprise_ would have been minimal.”

“But that’s just it, D-Data,” the doctor replied, her stumble over the android’s name drawing a perplexed look from Tasha. “Reality doesn’t always follow plans. When something as small and seemingly innocuous as a new type of life form can bring us inches – literally – from complete calamity, it’s hard to see that as an acceptable risk. I know for you it’s just a bunch of figures –”

“No, Doctor,” the android replied evenly. “I do understand the concept of a random element that cannot be factored into a calculation. However, I would note that such random elements can transform nearly any mission into a perilous one. For instance, on Stardate 41601.3, Counselor Troi was returning to the _Enterprise_ via shuttlecraft, and a series of events ensued that nearly cost the lives of several officers.”

“Yes, I know that,” the doctor replied a bit impatiently. “But some random events are just a little _too_ predictable. I seem to recall you were here when I laid out the risks for the Captain.”

“Ah. Yes. The ambitious semi-aquatic rodent.”

“The _what_?” Pulaski asked incredulously.

“That was your analysis of the situation, Doctor.”

“I’m quite certain that’s not true. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Tasha couldn’t help but laugh. “Uh, Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Did you, by any chance, use some kind of animal metaphor during that conversation?”

She considered a moment. “Now that you mention it...I did make a mention of an eager beaver. But...”

“And I believe,” Tasha continued, fighting the urge to start giggling again, “a beaver could be described as a ‘ semi-aquatic rodent’. And ‘ambitious’ being a synonym for ‘eager’...”

Pulaski finally realized what the security officer was trying to tell her. “That’s an...unusual leap of logic. Why not just repeat back what I said?”

“In order to comprehend the idiom fully, it is necessary to integrate it into my neural net. In doing so, I – I suppose I do alter the exact phrasing.”

“You add your own flair to it, Data,” Tasha corrected.

“Hm.” He considered for a moment, a small Data-smile crossing his lips. “Yes, perhaps that is a more accurate assessment.”

“Lieutenant,” Pulaski said after a moment, “is there something we can help you with? If you’re worried about a security threat –”

“No.” She shook her head. “I just...” _Just what?_ She fell silent as she realized she didn’t have a rational explanation for why she was sitting in Sickbay – except, maybe, for the fact that Data was there. “Never mind.”

But her pause had clearly been long enough to get the doctor’s attention. “Tasha? Are you all right?”

She dropped her head, not wanting either of them to see the tears that sparkled in her eyes. “It just doesn’t seem fair.”

Data now turned to her too. “To what are you referring?”

“Ian. Oh, I know he...whatever he was...was only curious about us, but to become someone’s _child_ , knowing he couldn’t stay? Even if he hadn’t had to go because of the danger, he could only have stayed a week or two at most before reaching the equivalent of a terminal human age. To do that...to let people come to _love_ him knowing he couldn’t stay...it’s cruel.”

“Deanna didn’t seem to feel that way,” Pulaski pointed out.

“Even if she’s not angry, she’s still in pain. He’s the cause of that. And...what? He knew enough about humans to understand how to become a human child, but not to realize that people – and not just the mother – would be affected by his death?”

“We cannot be certain what this life form was aware of in regards to human emotional responses.”

Tasha shook her head, looking up at the android through watery eyes. “Rhetorical question, Data.”

“Oh.” He reached out to her then, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I am...sorry.”

“I know.” She gently gripped his wrist, looking up into his soft, golden eyes. “Oh, Data, I – I haven’t even asked if _you’re_ okay.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.” She managed a weak smile towards the android. “Ian may not have been close to you the way he was to Deanna or me, but you – you were there when he was _born_. I saw your face. It meant something to you.”

“It did,” he agreed readily. “And I do not deny the existence of an...unfamiliar sensation of loss. However, I cannot feel grief, as you and Counselor Troi do.”

“Of course not,” Pulaski said under her breath.

It was loud enough, though, to catch the Security Chief’s attention. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying, Lieutenant, I think your concern is misplaced. Data can no more feel grief over this than --”

“ _What?_ ” Tasha interrupted even more forcefully. Only the sensation of Data’s hand on her shoulder kept her from completely losing her temper in that moment. _He doesn’t need to hear this._ “Data,” she said with a forced calm, “could you give us a minute, please?”

“Of course.”

“Tasha?” The doctor eyed her with concern as the door closed behind Data. “Is something wrong?”

“I was going to ask you that.” Any tears in her eyes had dried up, replaced with a protective fierceness. “ _What_ is your problem?”

Pulaski looked genuinely confused. “I...you mean the android?”

“Yes, I mean Data. For God’s sake, you just insulted him to me while he was _standing between us_! What’s that about?”

Pulaski still appeared uncertain as to the cause of Tasha’s upset. “It’s not like it has feelings to hurt.”

“ _It?_ ”

“He.” At least she corrected herself quickly there. “I’m sorry, I know better than that. But you still remember how I feel about technology, I’m sure. To say I find this whole thing unsettling would be an understatement.”

“‘Unsettling’ I understand,” Tasha conceded. “Even if I never felt that way. But that doesn’t mean you have to treat him so badly. Especially not you.”

“What does that mean?”

Tasha swallowed, trying to hold back a sudden flood of emotion. “Kate, when I knew you, you were one of the kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Always open and welcoming to anyone, even a virtual stranger. Seeing you with Deanna and Ian these past few days, I doubt that’s changed. Which means that, at least from the point of view of someone who knows you, your coldness towards Data is even more striking.”

“Perhaps. But as I said, it’s not as though I can hurt his feelings. He doesn’t have any.”

Tasha took a deep breath, willing herself to hold her composure and not respond in incoherent anger as was her first instinct. “Maybe not in the conventional sense. But he is capable of so much more than you would think. You saw him with Deanna during the birth.”

“He treated it like a zoo exhibit.”

“No. He was looking at it with an unusual curiosity, that’s true, but he also genuinely wanted to help her. And,” she added, recalling an earlier bit of the conversation between Data and Pulaski, “that’s not the only time. That incident Data mentioned, with Troi and the shuttlecraft – his description was an understatement. It was a nightmare day for all of us. And Data – it’s difficult to explain in specifics, but if you saw him in a situation like that, I doubt you’d ever be able to see him as ‘just a machine’ again.”

“He – he didn’t seem upset.” She sounded a bit taken aback now.

“That’s not because he’s unemotional,” Tasha replied, a hint of sadness creeping into her voice. “It’s because he’s used to it. He spent over two decades being treated as nothing more than a piece of equipment; even here, among friends, he’s only just beginning to realize that it doesn’t have to be that way.” She looked up at Kate, knowing the woman could see that tears were filling her eyes again, this time for the android. “Maybe I do have a short fuse when it comes to Data, but knowing what I know about his past – it makes me feel like I need to protect him. I love him, Kate,” she whispered.

“You –”

“Yes. Yes, I mean it the way you’re thinking it.”

“But –”

“Don’t. Whatever you’re about to say, I guarantee I don’t want to hear it. Please, Kate,” she added, her voice softening a bit. “Don’t ask me to choose between you and him. That’s the last thing I want to do...but if you make me...”

“I won’t,” she replied softly. “You’re right, I _don’t_ understand, and I’m not entirely comfortable with – well, with him. But I know that doesn’t give me the right to put anyone else in an uncomfortable situation. Come here.”

Tasha allowed herself to be folded into the older woman’s arms, raising her own to return the embrace. Years of distance seemed to fall away with that simple act. “Thank you...for trying.”

Kate hugged her even closer. “You never have to thank me for that.”

xxxxxxxxx

"Ensign Crusher has requested to remain on board the _Enterprise_."

"I'm not surprised." Will looked up at the Captain. "How did you respond?"

"I haven't as yet, Number One. I didn't think that it was my responsibility alone. His remaining will create difficulties for all of us."

"Yes, indeed. With his mother gone, who will see to his studies?"

"Exactly. Of course, that duty will fall to Commander Data."

"And who will tuck him in at night?"

"Come on, Commander," Wesley objected, turning his seat halfway to face Will.

"I can." Tasha spoke up from the console. A week before, she never would have agreed. but now, after Ian, she felt different about the idea of caring for a child in any capacity. She winked at the young ensign. “Don’t worry, I’m not the smothering type.”

Wesley grinned in response.

"Well, then, that takes care of the practical, but there's more to growing up than that. It's my belief, Number One, that you're best qualified to supervise that. You willing to serve?"

"Difficult decision." The corner of Will's mouth twitched -- he was clearly teasing. "Yes, I can do that."

"Well, Mr. Crusher, communicate with your mother at Starfleet Medical Headquarters, give her my regards, and tell her that you have my permission to remain on the _Enterprise,_ but I will abide by her wishes."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I know she'll agree."

And no one was surprised when, less than five minutes after he got off-duty, Wesley's expectations were confirmed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter takes place during the episode The Child. (Yes, the chapter title is a play on the episode title, though it also touches on the message Tasha leaves for Data after her death in the canon series.)
> 
> The mention of Data's actions in Skin of Evil specifically came into my head when I watched the scene where Armus takes Geordi's VISOR and is moving it out of reach, and Data refuses to keep giving Geordi directions because he doesn't want to "help [Armus] hurt him". For someone who's supposed to have a hard time with human feelings, he certainly displayed an understanding there.
> 
> And yes, I'm being deliberately vague about exactly what the history between Tasha and Pulaski is. All things will be revealed in due course.


	5. Personality Clash

“What do you think?”

Tasha eyed the small model admiringly. “Wow. That’s an incredible amount of detail. Is this for Zimbata?”

Geordi nodded, grinning as he carefully set another small piece in place. “You know how he is, he loves this kind of thing. For me, the fun is in putting it together, not looking at it once it’s done. Besides, I still feel like I owe him for taking me under his wing.”

“We both do,” she agreed, “but I don’t have the patience for model starships.”

He laughed. “Nah, it’s like I said. I enjoy making them, I just don’t feel a need to keep them around once they’re done. Next one I make, I’m giving to Data just to see what he does with it.”

“Speaking of,” Tasha added, noticing another out-of-place item on Geordi’s table, “isn’t that the pipe the Captain confiscated from Data last year? What are you doing with it?”

“Well, a copy from the same replicator pattern, anyway,” he replied, still chuckling. “I couldn't begin to guess what the Captain did with the first one. As to what I’m doing with it...call it a new phase in Data’s creative development. Once I’m done with the _Victory_ here, I’m taking Data to the holodeck to play Sherlock Holmes for real.”

xxxxxxxxx

"Didn’t go well, huh?”

Geordi shook his head, though he couldn't help but laugh a little bit. “I guess I underestimated the impact that a perfect android memory would have on trying to play out a mystery novel.”

“I do not understand,” the android chimed in. “Why was the resolution unsatisfactory?”

Geordi sighed. "The fun in the program, Data, was in the attempt to solve a mystery."

"Is that not exactly what we were doing?"

"You're wasting your breath, Lieutenant," Pulaski laughed from another table. "Saying that to Data is asking a computer not to compute."

Tasha was about to jump to Data's defense, but he beat her to it; apparently, he was starting to learn. "Am I so different from you, Doctor? Are you able to cease thinking on command?"

"In medicine,” the doctor replied, “I'm often faced with puzzles that I do not know the answer to."

She's right, Data," Geordi admitted, though the expression on his face suggested he was less than pleased at having to do so. "You always know the answer."

"To feel the thrill of a victory, there must be the possibility of failure,” Pulaski explained, coming to join them at the table. “Where's the victory in winning a battle you can't possibly lose?"

Data tipped his head to the side in what Tasha had come to consider his ‘inquisitive’ look. "Are you suggesting that there is some value in losing?"

"Yes. That's the great teacher. We humans often learn more from a mistake or a failure than we do from an easy success. But not you - all your learning is by rote. To you it's all memorization and recitation."

"I don't know about all that. Deductive reasoning is one of Data's strengths." Geordi jumped back in, seeming relieved that he was able to take Data’s side again.

"Yes, Holmes too, but Holmes understood the human soul, the dark flecks which drive us, that turn the innocent into the evil. That understanding is beyond Data."

Geordi might have seemed calm to a casual observer, but Tasha knew him well enough to realize his ire was rising rapidly. "Now you're just being unfair, Doctor."

"I don't think so, Lieutenant."

"I do." Tasha rose from her chair, unable to keep silent any longer. "So Data doesn't see the value in playing through a holo-novel when he already knows how it’s going to end. He’s far from the only person I’ve met with that particular opinion. I mean, what’s the point in going through the reasoning if you already know the answer? It’s nothing but an exercise in futility.”

Data was looking up at her now, something like wonder in his eyes. “Yes, that is exactly it. I simply do not understand the purpose of pretending to seek an answer that I already possess.”

Tasha laid a protective hand on his shoulder. “I think Geordi was right the first time. What differentiates you from humans in this scenario isn’t your reasoning skills, it’s just the sheer amount of information that you absorb and retain. Most humans, even if they’d read Holmes, wouldn't necessarily remember every detail of every story, so they would still have to rely on their own reasoning skills. But you _do_ remember every detail of every story, so there’s no challenge.”

Pulaski was still shaking her head. "He wouldn't have a prayer of solving a Holmes mystery which he hasn't read."

"I have read them all,” Data replied matter-of-factly.

But Geordi was a step ahead. "Maybe the computer could create one in Holmes' style, one where you wouldn't know the outcome."

"As I said, he wouldn't have a prayer."

Data met the doctor’s eyes firmly. "I accept your challenge."

"Good for you, Data." Geordi grinned. Tasha conveyed the same sentiment with a gentle squeeze to his shoulder.

"We will return to the Holodeck, where I will dare it to defeat me. And you, Madam, are invited to be a witness."

Pulaski leaned forward eagerly. "I wouldn't miss it."

He turned towards Tasha extending his hand. “My Lady?”

Tasha had to suppress an insane urge to giggle like a schoolgirl as she placed her hand in his. “Lead and I’ll follow, my good man.”

Data stood, tucking her arm underneath his. “Come, Watson!"

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, what's bothering you? And don't say it's nothing,” Pulaski added quickly as she adjusted her costume. “I know you too well for that."

“You don’t want to ask me that, Doctor.”

“Now we’re back to ‘Doctor’? Come on, you can tell me.”

"If you really want to know – it's what you said to Data.”

"What did I say to him?"

" _To_ him? Well – first off, you barely talked _to_ him at all. You spent almost that entire conversation talking to me and Geordi _about_ him as though he wasn’t sitting right there. And the one thing you did say to him was to imply that he’s incapable of anything but formulaic thinking."

“I’ve seen no evidence that he is.”

“Maybe you would, if you gave him a chance. If you took the time to talk with him – by which I mean like a person and not a glorified piece of equipment – you’d see the person inside the machine, just as Geordi and I and the rest of the senior staff do. And if you did, I’d lay odds you’d end up liking him more than you ever thought you could. But I won’t hold my breath; _that_ level of thought seems to be beyond _you_.” Without another word, she turned and headed for the holodeck.

xxxxxxxxx

When Pulaski had first been taken, Tasha's only regret had been that the Doctor wasn’t there to hear Data doing exactly what she had said he was incapable of less than an hour earlier. Even Data’s mention of a blip in the program was hardly worrying; after all, Geordi’s instructions had left a lot of room for interpretation, and the computer could well have determined that these types of random elements were necessary to bring the program up to Data’s level.

The first real sign of trouble had been when Moriarty had indicated that he recognized that Data and Geordi were not Holmes and Watson, a sign that had been compounded a moment later when the holographic villain mentioned the ship’s computer. When he'd successfully called for the arch, Tasha had started to worry. But when a strange piece of paper passed from Moriarty to Data had sent the android running from the holodeck, then she’d known there was a problem. And when his attempt to shut down the program failed, then she knew something was seriously wrong.

"What's on that paper?" Geordi was demanding, hurrying after Data as the android made a beeline for the nearest turbolift. "And why can't we shut down the holodeck?"

Data finally showed the paper to his companions. "This."

Shock rendered Tasha speechless. She had decided that it wasn’t worth her time to speculate on the nature of the problem, but even if she had, she could never have imagined this.

Beside her, Geordi was equally stunned. "How could a character from 1890's London draw a picture of the Enterprise?" he finally managed. "And who's got control of the computer?"

"He does." Data was clearly one step ahead of the others. "Moriarty."

"That isn't possible. I don't understand."

"Nor do I." Data started to turn but Geordi grabbed his arm.

"Data, wait! What about the doctor, is she all right in there?"

"No." Data's tone was somber, sending fear right into Tasha’s heart. "She is in grave danger."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha? Are you all right?” One of the good things about the speed at which Data was able to process was that, despite all of the things that were going on, he was still aware of everything the people around him were doing. And right now, it seemed that Tasha was on the verge of tears.

"It's the doctor,” Tasha explained, fighting to get the words out around the lump in her throat. “She’s my friend, Data, and I care for her very much. But just before we went into the holodeck, I said something to her, something I never expected to hear myself say. I was just so angry about the way she was treating you.”

"You had a right to be," Geordi interjected. “I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying a few unfortunate things myself.”

"I know that. And I still stand by my defense of you, Data. But now she’s in danger, and if something happens to her, if those turn out to be the last words I ever get to say to her -" Tasha broke off in mid-sentence. She refused to cry in front of the entire senior staff.

Data laid a gentle hand on her arm. "While the danger is significant, I do not believe your pessimism is warranted at this time. All of our scans indicate that her condition at present is within normal parameters. And I am still confident that between the Captain and myself, it will be possible to secure her safe release. I will do everything in my power to ensure it.”

Tasha wiped her eyes on her sleeve as subtly as she could. “Be careful, Data. Please.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Come on.” As Data walked off towards the holodeck, Geordi guided his friend into a chair. “We can wait for news here.”

xxxxxxxxx

"You're all right." Tasha tried to keep her voice steady as she embraced the doctor.

If the doctor’s noticed how emotional Tasha was, she didn’t comment. “Yes. Perfectly all right. Except I may not eat again for a week,” she added.

Her comment had the desired effect, and Tasha smiled. “I can think of worse fates.” But just as quickly, she remembered all of the worse fates she’d imagined, the ones that had run one after another through her mind until they had finally received the call that Kate was safe. “I just...I just want to say, I’m sorry for what I said to you before.” She choked back the lump in her throat. _Damn it, I can’t cry now!_

"No, no,” Kate replied kindly, hugging Tasha again. “I’m well aware that I started it.”

“Maybe, but I know you’re still getting used to the whole concept. I shouldn’t have expected you to change your mind overnight.”

“Oh, Tasha, you are entirely too harsh on yourself. You _didn’t_ expect me to change overnight. In fact, you made it clear that you knew that was impossible. All that you asked was for me to keep those thoughts to myself.”

Tasha broke the embrace, looking up at Kate with a watery smile. “I guess I should’ve known better.”

“Better than what?”

Her smile widened. “Well, better than to expect you not to say every single thing that comes into your head, of course.”

xxxxxxxxx

"There are two disparate personalities within Lieutenant Commander Data," Deanna explained, "each distinctly different. A dominant, and a recessive."

"But he's an android," Picard pointed out. "Is that possible?"

"It must be," she insisted. "The dominant personality is unstable: brilliant but vain, sensitive yet paranoid, and I believe it is prone to irrationality."

"Of course," Picard whispered suddenly.

"What?" Tasha demanded, and immediately regretted her tone. The Captain was hardly the first person she’d snapped at since the start of this whole mess, and he didn’t deserve it any more than the others had. But knowing that another man’s personality was slowly consuming the man she loved had left her filled with so much anger and nowhere to direct it.

For his part, Picard barely seemed to notice his Chief of Security’s tone. "Nothing. Go on."

"It seems to have an especially strong hatred of you, Captain," Deanna continued. "Or, to a lesser degree, any authority figure. And the worst part is, it's growing."

"How do you mean?"

"The alien persona is getting stronger and gobbling up what is left of the weaker ego, the Data we know. If we don't find a way to stop it immediately, we will lose our Data forever."

That simple statement seemed to cut right to Tasha’s heart. All at once, it was no longer rage that filled her, but grief. An unbearable sense of loss, so strong that couldn't breathe, couldn't think of anything else. A hand – Geordi’s hand, she realized – came to rest on her arm. She grabbed hold of it as soon as she registered who and what it was, clinging to her friend like an anchor.

"Are you all right?" she heard Picard ask.

Tasha finally drew a deep breath and brought the room back into focus. "I'm all right, sir."

She saw a look pass between Picard and Deanna, suggesting they didn’t believe her for a second, but thankfully they both declined to comment. "Lieutenant, I might need your help. Graves responded better to women than men, and you've got the strongest pull on Data, and the best reason for him to give Data back."

"Of course,” Tasha replied. _Finally, a chance to_ do _something._ “Anything I can do, I will.”

xxxxxxxxx

"What are you doing?" Kate turned to see Tasha standing in the door of the sickbay. "Are you hurt?"

"Hurt? No...not really.”

“Oh, I see.” She smiled gently, trying to project warmth and comfort. “I should’ve guessed. You have the same expression on your face that you did when you came in here for no real reason after Ian died.” She pushed aside the PADD she'd been working on. "Sit down."

"It would almost be easier if he'd just died," Tasha whispered, sinking into the seat. "At least then, there would be a process, and maybe I’d be okay on the other end of it. But to see him walking around, to know he's in there somewhere, but then to know it's not him, is more painful than just losing him ever could be." She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. "I can't believe this. I'm falling apart right when I really need to hold it together."

"Come here." Kate stepped around the table and pulled her younger friend into a tight embrace. She could feel how desperately Tasha was trying to keep her emotions under control. “It’s all right,” she whispered. “Right here, right now, you _don’t_ need to hold it together.”

Those soft words were the last straw for Tasha's fragile control. She had already been close to losing it, and now she could hold on no longer. She buried her face in the doctor’s shoulder as silent tears began to fall.

" _Picard to Yar._ "

They both jumped as the disembodied voice from Tasha's combadge broke what had been several minutes of silence. The younger woman quickly stepped back from the embrace, roughly wiping her eyes, forcing her mask of composure back down. "Go ahead."

" _I need you down in Engineering._ "

xxxxxxxxx

The rage was back, and this time it had a target: this Data-who-wasn't, this being that had just denied Data's right to exist, this creature that stood over the unconscious forms of Geordi and the Captain as though he hadn’t just knocked them both out. "You could have killed him!"

"It was an accident."

"An accident that occurred because you're inhabiting a body that's ten times stronger than what you're used to! Don’t you get it yet? This isn’t _your_ body! You may be inside it, but if you were really entitled to that body, you wouldn't be having all these ‘accidents’. The reason you keep hurting people is because you’re commanding an android’s body with the instincts of a man used to a human one.”

“If I’m so dangerous,” he said with that horrible smile, the one that didn’t belong on that face, “then why are you here?”

“To talk with you,” she replied evenly. “To explain exactly why it’s so important that you give Data his body back.”

“Your captain already tried that. You want to end up like him?”

“Of course not. Why do you think I’m all the way over here?”

He paused for a moment, then laughed. “You _are_ smart. But tell me, Lieutenant. What do you think you can say to me that your captain hasn’t already tried?”

“Everything.” She took another step towards him, still remaining out of range of his hand. “My captain talked to you about life forms, he talked about fairness and cheating. But I know you don’t care about that.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Then consider this. I contend that Data has value of a different kind. Not only for the scientific reasons my captain suggested, but for the man that he is.”

“He is nothing. A machine.”

“You’re wrong. He is a machine, yes, but he is also a man. Would you like me to tell you about him?” She barreled on, not giving him a chance to answer. “He’s nothing like you, you know. You’re an old man. Oh, yes, I know you still have things you want to complete, but you can’t tell me that there aren’t times that existence gets a little...mundane?”

“If you’re trying to make me suicidal, that’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard yet. Of course life gets mundane sometimes! Doesn't mean it’s not worth living.”

“I never said it did. But you see, to Data, there is no such thing as mundane. He finds delight and wonder in the most ordinary of things. He has an insatiable curiosity, a constant desire, almost a need, to know more, to _become_ more. He spends hours in front of a canvas, painting one image after another in an attempt to find the spark of creativity within himself. What?” she asked at his incredulous look. “Did you think he did nothing with his life besides work?”

“I – I suppose I didn’t think about it much at all.”

“No. No, you didn’t. You saw that Data was a machine, and you thought that was all you needed to know. You never dreamed that what you were taking away could be as much a life as your own. You couldn't have imagined just how irreplaceable he is, not because of _what_ he is, but _who_ he is. You never realized that Data could be loved.” Her eyes were watering. “But he is. He is so much loved.”

“So am I.” But the tone in his voice suggested he was wavering.

“I know. But by all rights, your life is over. Data – you don’t know this either, but Data isn’t even thirty years old. His life is just beginning. And now you know just how incredible of a life it could be, if you let it. Please, Graves, don’t rob him of that.” A few tears slipped from her eyes. “Let us have our Data back. Let _me_ have him back.”

“I – I don’t want to die.”

“Ira, you’re already dead. By all reasonable definitions of the term, you died a week ago. To leave this body, to move into the computer, that isn’t dying. It’s just moving on to a new type of existence.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No. But neither is that body, and you know that. I saw how you reacted when you saw how hard you hit the Captain. Data’s body is no more the body you know than the computer would be.”

“How many accidents...” he whispered brokenly.

“What?”

“It’s what your captain said to me. ‘How many more accidents?’ he asked. And he was right, just like you are. I don’t know how to control this body. And when I try to control it as I would my own, people get hurt.”

She met his eyes. “End this, Ira. You know it’s the right decision.”

He nodded slowly. “If you would...do just one thing for me, Commander. Tell Data...tell him I’m sorry?”

“I will.”

Without another word, Graves slowly walked over to the computer and began keying in a sequence. A moment later, as Tasha watched, the android body fell limply to the deck.

Abandoning all reason, Tasha ran to kneel beside him. As she reached out to him, his eyes fluttered open. “Tasha?”

“Data?” she whispered, barely daring to believe. “Is it...you?”

The android’s face pulled together in a perplexed frown. “Of course. Why would it not be?”

With those simple words, it was as though a week’s worth of tension lifted from her body, leaving her almost giddy with relief. “Data!” She pulled him to her, capturing his lips in a long kiss. “Oh, Data, it is _so_ good to see you.”

“It is...good to see you too,” he replied, still sounding perplexed. “But...why am I in Engineering? What has happened?”

“Well, the thing is...it’s going to take a little explaining.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you had to have guessed that things with Pulaski weren't quite settled yet. Despite Tasha's influence, things between Data and Pulaski are expected to develop on about the same timeline as they did in the canon series.
> 
> This chapter references the episodes Elementary, Dear Data and The Schizoid Man.


	6. New Horizons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warning: Mentions of sexual assault, non-graphic descriptions. Proceed at your own discretion.

"Tasha, do you have a minute?"

"For you? Of course." She turned to see Kate walking behind her.

"You've  known the Captain for some time. I think I need some advice. I don't seem to be dealing with him very well."

"What do you mean?”

" Well, my arguments don't seem to have any affect on him. We just end up quoting regulations to each other. He has such a consuming dedication to his ship, he doesn't seem able to step back to see the human side of the equation."

Tasha stopped, turning to face the doctor. “This is about the Darwin Station children, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “You of all people know how I feel about this sort of thing. The idea of leaving healthy people behind in a diseased station is – it’s inhuman. How can the Captain – ?”

“Because he’s looking at a different side of the human equation. If it were a simple matter of rescuing healthy people from disease, he’d be right in there with you. But he has a point; we may know that the children aren’t exhibiting symptoms, but we don’t know _why_ , and because of that, we can’t be sure that the situation won’t change. There are a thousand people aboard this ship. Those are the humans Captain Picard is concerned with now.”

She laughed lightly. “You know, Deanna said something similar to me just a few minutes ago.”

“Well, then,” Tasha replied, smiling too, “maybe you should listen to us.”

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha cast another glance between Kate and the shuttle. "Are you sure about this?"

"Someone has to prove they're harmless."

"And what if you're wrong -- I know, I know." Tasha cut off the argument she knew was coming. "You know you're right. But what if you're not? It could mean your life and we both know it."

"I'm willing to take that risk?"

"But what about the ship?"

"They'll find another Chief Medical Officer. I'm not the first and I won't be the last. I'm replaceable."

"No, you're not." The words slipped from Tasha's lips before she realized what she was saying.

The tone in her voice was enough for Kate to realize what it was Tasha was really saying. “I know that. No one is replaceable, not in that sense. But that doesn't stop you putting yourself in harm’s way to protect others. What I’m doing is no different than a security officer rushing into a firefight to give a civilian a chance to escape. That’s the nature of the service, Tasha, and you know it. Sometimes we _have_ to take risks to protect the innocent. You and the rest of the crew do it all the time.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “I _know_ you’re right. But it’s not easy for me to watch you do this. Maybe it’s because of that same drive to protect. When Will or Data or Geordi beams down into a potentially dangerous situation, I can channel my feelings into protecting them. But I can’t protect you from this.”

“I know. But I’m convinced the danger is only theoretical. And if I have to face it to save a dozen lives...I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I walked away. And that’s something I know you understand.”

“I do understand. I just...please be right.” She knew what she was asking was impossible, but she couldn't help herself. “Please.”

xxxxxxxxx

“ _All systems are functioning within normal specifications, Doctor._ ”

“ _The manufacturer will be pleased to hear it_.”

Tasha couldn't help but smile as she listened idly to the open comlink. The longer this went on, the more she could feel the knot in her stomach beginning to loosen. Maybe Kate was right. Maybe the children really were harmless, and all the worry was for nothing.

Pulaski spoke again, seeming to realize she might have been a bit harsh on the android. “ _I appreciate your help, but your bedside manner needs work._ ”

“ _Bedside manner?_ ” Data repeated, and Tasha could perfectly picture the expression he was likely wearing, the slight tilt of his head as he prepared to take in this new information.

But that image was driven from her mind in the next instant as a wordless cry from the doctor suddenly filled the comlink. Everyone on the bridge seemed to let out a collective gasp as Picard frantically tried to determine what had just happened. All of the worry that had slowly been losing its grip on Tasha rushed back in.

“ _There was no warning_ ,” Kate gasped out.

Tasha knew the doctor wasn’t being vague on purpose, but to her, it seemed a cruel game, drawing everything out with ominous statements while holding back the critical answers. The few seconds it took for Picard to demand an explanation and for Kate to give one seemed an eternity. But when Tasha heard what she had to say, she almost wished she could go back to uncertainty.

“ _Arthritic inflammation. It's the initial symptom of the disease._ ”

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha?”

The security chief was so engrossed in what she was reading that it took her a moment to realize someone was saying her name. She looked up finally, coming face-to-face with the ship’s counselor. “Deanna. Can this wait? I’m in the middle of something.”

“Yes, I can see that. The computer told me you’d accessed a large number of medical reference guides and engineering manuals. Trying to find something to help Doctor Pulaski?”

“We were _so close_ with that transporter trace idea. If I could just understand exactly how it would have worked, maybe I can come up with something that will.”

“Tasha.” Deanna gently placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “The _Enterprise_ ’s entire medical and engineering departments are already working on a solution. You have no engineering experience, and you’re only trained as a field medic. What is it you think you’re going to find that they can’t?”

“I don’t know. Is that what you want me to say? I don’t know. But I have to try.”

“Tasha.” The tone in Deanna’s voice seemed to compel her to turn her attention to the Betazoid. “I know you want to do something, that you feel like you need to do something, but you’re not being rational about this. You’re overwhelmed by emotion, I can sense it.”

“You _sense_ it?” Tasha snapped back. “Do you _sense_ that _I don’t care_? Do you sense that I have to do this, whether it’s rational or not, because it might be Kate’s only hope?”

“I sense your desperation, yes,” Deanna replied, her tone still calm and even. “And your anxiety, and your guilt. I know that you feel it’s your duty to protect everyone aboard this ship, but in this case –”

“It’s _not_ that,” Tasha protested, her voice cracking on the words. “It’s not about duty, not this time. I owe this to her, not as the ship’s security chief to a member of the crew, but as...as Tasha Yar to Kate Pulaski.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I owe her everything, Deanna. All that I am, even my life itself...I owe it all to her. A greater debt that I could ever repay.”

Tasha vaguely heard the counselor asking her for clarification, but she was no longer really aware of it, or of her surroundings at all. All conscious thought was being overwhelmed by a scene from her memory.

“ _Fighter,” the man whispered, his breath hot on her neck as she tried to pull away from him. “Nice. I like a challenge.”_

_Tasha struggled desperately, trying to free her legs from the grasp of another gang member, even though she knew it was ultimately futile. It didn’t mean Tasha was going to make it easy for them. Her fighting spirit was the reason she had managed to survive this long, and it wasn’t going to quit now. But as their rough hands ripped at her clothing, she could only close her eyes and try to block out the assault as much as she could._

_It was because she was trying so hard to disconnect that it took her several moments to realize that she was hearing more than just the taunts of the gang. New voices filtered in, saying things Tasha couldn't understand. It hardly mattered. No one ever helped a girl caught by the gangs._

_Then there was a cry that echoed through the alleyway. “My God!”_

_That set off some chatter among the other newcomers, but the woman was still yelling. “What are you doing? Stop it!”_

_One of the gang leaders responded, his voice loud in Tasha's ear. “You giving us orders, lady?”_

_The woman was no longer shouting, but her voice was icy when she spoke again. “You’re damn right I am. Get off her. Now.”_

_There was a strange sound, and Tasha opened her eyes to see a bolt of orange light shoot into the wall, sending a shower of dust and small rocks falling to the ground. “Don’t test me,” the same icy voice said. “I’ll use this on_ you _next.”_

_The fierceness in the woman’s voice sent a shiver of fear through Tasha, but it seemed to do worse to the gang. All at once, the man climbed off of her body, and the other hands holding her down were removed. And then they ran. Tasha wanted to run too. But as she tried to stand, pain shot through her body. Her legs refused to support her and she crumpled into the dirt, shivering at the sound of approaching footsteps._

_Then the voice again, this time sounding surprised. “My god, she’s just a child.”_

_As she spoke, the stranger stepped out of the shadows, and what Tasha saw almost took her breath away. She was a young woman with blond hair that curled above her shoulders, wearing a strange outfit of black and blue, but what drew Tasha's attention first was that there was some kind of odd adornment attached to it. No one, not even the cadres with all their power, would dare display anything of value while walking around the streets, but this woman did._

“ _Easy.” It was the same voice, but now soft, gentle. “It’s all right. You’re safe now. I won’t hurt you.”_

“ _Doctor,” said another voice, and Tasha looked up in alarm. As the voice had suggested, this newcomer was male. He was dressed similarly to the woman, but his face was covered with a bizarre pattern of spots, as though he might have some unknown disease. “We have a problem. That little ‘demonstration’ of yours is drawing attention. We need to get out of here as soon as possible.”_

_His tone sounded almost like he was chastising the woman, but if he was, she didn’t react to it. “Understood, Captain. But just so we’re perfectly clear, I’m taking the girl with us.”_

“ _Kate –”_

“ _Prime Directive doesn't apply. You said yourself this is a_ Federation _colony, which means this child is a Federation citizen. I can aid her in any way I see fit.”_

_He shook his head slowly. “Fine. But hurry up. We’re running out of time.”_

_As the man walked back towards the opening, the woman turned back to her, speaking again in the softer tone. “I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be okay. I’m taking you somewhere safe.” She tapped the thing attached to her clothing, which made a chirping sound. “Pulaski to_ Livingston _. Transport two from my location directly to sickbay.”_

_ What Tasha felt next was even stranger than anything that had come before, and yet...it somehow felt familiar, as though it was something she might have experienced once, a long time ago. When the sensation stopped, she was no longer in the dirty alley. Instead, she was now sitting in a clean, brightly-lit room, and not on the floor, but on a bed of some kind. Only the woman remained the same. _

_ Several new people started to come towards them. But the woman put up her hand and they stopped. “Nurse, get me a blanket. The rest of you – back off. Give her some space.” _

_ A blanket was draped over her, finally giving her the cover she craved. She tensed a bit as the woman started pointing a strange device at her, but relaxed after a moment when the orange light didn’t come. The woman kept her eyes on the other piece of the device as she spoke. “You haven't told me your name.” _

_ Tasha said nothing. _

“ _I’m Doctor Kate Pulaski,” she offered after a moment. “Chief Medical Officer.”_

“ _My...my name is Tasha.” It was the first thing she’d said to these strangers. But she had to say something. She didn’t want to anger these people._

“ _Tasha,” Kate repeated. “Well, Tasha, the injuries from the attack aren’t very serious. I’m going to fix them now.” She swapped the device for another one. “What’s worrying me...I’m seeing a lot of old injuries on the scan, like you’ve been hurt before, more than once. Is that what happened?”_

“ _Yes. It wasn’t my first time...with the gangs.” Anger flashed across Kate’s face, and Tasha recoiled. “I’m – I’m sorry.”_

_ To her surprise, when Kate replied, it was the same gentle tone as before. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I just...didn’t realize how bad it is. There,” she added. “All healed. Now, how about something to eat? You must be starving.” _

_Tasha_ was _starving, and had been for days, but she said nothing. She didn’t want to beg for food from these people. It would just be one more thing she’d have to pay back later._

_Apparently, though, the doctor didn’t need a verbal reply. “I thought so. We’ll start you off with something light, some soup maybe. Give your system a chance to adjust.”_

_As Tasha watched, Kate walked over to a strange opening in the wall and spoke to it. And then, to her even greater surprise, a strange bowl with a handle simply appeared. Kate brought it over to her. “Careful,” she warned. “It’s hot.”_

_Tasha didn’t care. She no longer cared about anything except eating. The smell alone was enough to overcome any apprehension she had about accepting food from these people. She lifted the bowl to her lips and gulped down the contents as fast as she could manage, and then licked the edges for anything left behind._

_Kate gently took the bowl from her hands. “There. That’s better, isn’t it? Tasha...” she hesitated a moment. “Do your parents know what’s been happening to you?”_

“ _Don’t have parents. They died.”_

“ _Then who takes care of you now?”_

“ _I take care of myself.”_

_Kate’s eyes were wide now. "What kind of a place is this?" Tasha only gave her a blank look, unable to comprehend the question. “Never mind. I was just thinking out loud. Tasha...I need to ask you an important question, and I need you to answer it honestly. Do you_ want _to go back?”_

“ _Back?”_

_Kate looked surprised, then suddenly smiled. “Of course, you don’t know – look out that window.”_

_Tasha followed the command, strange though it was. A moment later, she realized. “In...space?”_

“ _That’s right. We’re not on the planet you came from anymore. I know that might be hard to believe.”_

_Tasha shook her head slowly, feeling the same sense of familiarity she had when they’d left the alley. “People...travel in space. I know. I think...I heard one time.”_

“ _Good. Then you understand. I’m offering you a choice. To go back...or not.”_

_Tasha could hardly believe what she was hearing. She’d wanted to leave for so long. But, “What happens to me if I don’t go back?”_

_Kate seemed to consider this for a moment. “I don’t know if you heard me talking to my captain, but I come from something called the Federation.”_

“ _Federation...in space...” Another small wisp of a memory came into her mind, a word remembered but not understood. “Starfleet?”_

_Kate looked surprised, if happily so. “That’s right. Starfleet is a part of the Federation. And so was your planet, once. If you choose to leave, the Federation will find a place for you.”_

“ _For what?” She wanted to believe so badly, but she couldn't. Not until she knew what it would cost._

“ _For –” Kate seemed puzzled for a moment, and then she seemed to realize. “You mean payment? No, Tasha, it’s not like that. I know that’s what you’re used to, but the Federation is different.”_

“ _No...payment?”_

“ _No payment. I promise.”_

_Tasha couldn't explain why she believed the woman. Maybe it was the small memory fragments, telling her in some way that the Federation really_ was _different. Or maybe it was just Kate herself, projecting something that made Tasha feel she could trust. “I don’t want to go back.”_

“ _Then you don’t have to.” She laid a light hand on Tasha’s back, and Tasha let her. Kate’s touch was gentler than anything she’d felt in years. Before she knew it, she had turned into the touch, and then she was being held in Kate’s arms, and somehow, she felt safe there._

“ _It’s all right,” Kate said soothingly. “It’s over now. You never have to go back there again.”_

"Tasha? Tasha, do you hear me?”

A hand came to rest on Tasha's arm, and that, more than anything, pulled her back to the present. “Deanna. Sorry, what was that?”

“It’s not important,” she deflected. “Tasha...where were you just now?”

“My home planet,” she admitted in a whisper.

That rarely boded well. Tasha's memories of that time were almost nothing but trauma, and reliving them still had the potential to reopen those wounds. “Tell me.”

“It wasn’t a bad memory. Not like the others. I mean, it was at first. But then...she saved me. I didn’t even realize at first what she’d done, I was so scared. But looking back on it now...now I know exactly what she did.”

“Tasha...what are you talking about? _Who_ are you talking about?”

“Kate. The day I met her.”

Deanna did a double-take. “Kate Pulaski was the one who rescued you from your home colony?”

Tasha nodded. “There were others there. But she was the one who protected me. You understand the implications when I say...she’s the first person I ever trusted.”

“Yes, Tasha. I do understand. And I am so sorry.”

“Then you know why I need to do this. Why I need to _find something_.”

“I know that she means a great deal to you. More than I understood until just now. And I know that you want to help her. But I still stand by what I said. You’re not qualified to do this. And you’re not going to fight off death with stubbornness alone.”

She turned to Deanna, desperate, pleading. “I  _ have _ to.”

“No, Tasha, you don’t. I know that you want to feel like you’re doing something. But I think the best thing for you right now would be to go spend some time with Kate on the comm system. In the long run, you’ll be able to forgive yourself for not finding an answer. But you’ll have a much harder time forgiving yourself if you don’t take advantage of the time you have left.”

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha stood in the transporter room, watching anxiously as the Captain and O'Brien discussed the modifications. If the situation hadn't been so grim, she would have laughed at the fact that the worst-case scenario they were discussing was the very reason Kate so feared the transporter.

Picard took the controls from O'Brien. Geordi and Data finished putting the transporter room back together and came to stand beside Tasha. Data reached out and took her hand. Doctor Pulaski’s final request before he’d beamed back to the _Enterprise_ had been that he take care of her. She had implied that Tasha would need him more than ever in the days and weeks to come. Feeling the desperation in her grip, he thought the Doctor might just have been right.

"Here we go." Picard activated the transporter. As they watched, an image of the doctor shimmered into view, but it was the doctor as she’d become, an old woman, not the Kate Pulaski who had stepped into the shuttle just hours earlier.

"It's not working," Picard said desperately. Tasha leaned into Data's shoulder, unable to tear her eyes from the shimmering figure. _Will this be the last I ever see of her?_ Beside her, Picard seemed to be steeling himself for the unpleasant task ahead.

"Captain, wait!" O'Brien’s voice suddenly rang out through the transporter room. His console beeped as he worked the controls and then, to everyone’s amazement, the image shifted, and the woman who stood before them was the doctor as she had been, as though the ordeal of the last few hours hadn’t happened.

As the materialization process completed, she stepped off the transporter pad, looking at her own hands as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened. Picard hurried up to her and they met in a brief embrace. She shook hands with Geordi and Data and then turned to Tasha, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

Without a word, she pulled Tasha into her arms, holding her much as she had in the  _ Livingston _ sickbay so many years ago. “It’s all right now. I’m all right.”

xxxxxxxxx

“I guess I owe you an apology.”

“For what? Scaring me half to death, thinking you were dying?” Tasha shook her head. “Honestly, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you say that,” Kate replied with a smile, “but actually, I was referring to something else entirely.”

“What’s that?”

“Commander Data.” She sighed, though she was still smiling. “Listen close, because you’ll probably never hear me say this again, but...you were right, and I was wrong. You said that if I ever really talked to Data, I’d understand what kind of a man he really is. Well, it took a bit of a drastic situation to get us to that point, but...he really is a special kind of man. I see that now. He was an invaluable support to me, and that after the way I’ve been treating him for months.” She laughed softly. “Now I understand why you were upset. If I, as I am now, heard myself talk the way I did...well, I’d be furious too.”

Tasha couldn't help but laugh too at the imagery, but she quickly became serious again. “Not to rub it in, but have you said any of this to Data himself?”

“Well...not quite in the same words. I think if I tried to explain all of that to him, he’d ask me so many questions I’d never get through it.” Again, they both laughed. “But I did tell him I was sorry. And that I think he’s a lot more special than I gave him credit for.”

Tasha smiled. “Good for you. I know that can’t have been easy.”

“Speaking of not easy...you really aren’t upset about the risk I took?”

“Well...I was, a little, at first,” she admitted. “But then I realized – how could I be mad at you for wanting to protect an innocent child? Thirteen years ago, that same instinct was the reason you picked up a phaser and chased off six men to protect a girl you’d never met, even though it was way outside your mission parameters.”

Now Kate looked surprised. “I didn’t think you knew that. That it was outside parameters, I mean.”

“I didn’t at the time. Which was probably for the best at the time, I don’t know if I’d have been willing to accept your help if I’d realized it was a point of contention. I figured it out later, during my time at the Academy.”

“If you don’t mind my asking...how?”

“I don’t mind. And to answer your question, the argument you and your captain had about bringing me up to the ship. Even though none of what you were saying made any sense, I remembered the words, and then when I learned what the Prime Directive was, I realized what it was you’d been saying. He thought you were overstepping your boundaries. And then I realized he was saying that firing your phaser to scare the gang off had caused problems. Kate...you weren't supposed to tell me I had other options besides going back to the colony, were you?”

“Well...technically, no,” she admitted. “But how could I not? Between what little you said and what my tricorder was telling me, I knew what I’d be sending you back to. I’m firmly convinced I did the right thing. And not because of what you’ve become,” she added. “I was certain of it from day one.”

“I’m glad you were.” Tasha's voice cracked a bit with emotion. “But...didn’t it get you into trouble with your Captain?”

She gave a soft laugh. “Well...I might’ve fudged the details a tiny bit. I told him you’d asked for Federation help...which, technically, you did. I just didn’t mention I’d all but spoon-fed it to you.”

“And he never suspected?”

“Suspected? Oh, I’m fairly certain he knew, but he never called me on it. Plausible deniability, I’d guess. As long as he didn’t have actual, concrete knowledge of what I’d done, he technically hadn’t broken any rules.”

“But then...if he knew...”

“Why did he let me get away with it? Well, of course I never could ask, but if I had to guess...he didn’t like the idea of leaving you there any more than I did.”

“But on the planet, he seemed like he didn’t approve of you having anything to do with me.”

“On the planet, he was already in a mood over my firing the phaser. He was worried the attention it drew might have been dangerous, which, given what I saw there, he was right to worry about. Besides, he was the Captain. It was his job to enforce the rules, like them or not.”

“That’s why you mentioned the Prime Directive.”

“Exactly. I was pretty sure that, annoyance notwithstanding, he felt the same way I did. All I had to do was give him a rational justification.”

“Really?” Tasha asked a little incredulously. “I mean, I suppose I didn’t see much of him, but he didn’t seem the compassionate type.”

“No, I suppose he didn’t come off that way. But we were all horrified by what we saw down there. Plus, he always did have a soft spot for kids...God only knows why, since I’m positive he never had any of his own. As soon as he saw how young you were, I knew he could be convinced.”

“But _you_ were the one who convinced him.” Again, her voice quivered with emotion. “You put yourself on the line for me.”

“And I would again, for anyone in a similar situation. Though I stand by what I said yesterday. Any expectations I might have had about how that would turn out have been far surpassed.”

Tasha remembered those words, exchanged over the comm as the doctor's life raced towards what they had expected would be its end. Kate wasn’t the first person to express pride in Tasha's accomplishments, but somehow, it seemed to mean something new when the doctor said it. “Are you  _ trying _ to make me cry for the second time in two days?”

“Of course not. But if you need to, I’m here for you.”

Tasha managed to hold back her tears, but she still gratefully accepted a hug from the older woman. “Yesterday was...pretty bad.”

“Yes, it was,” the doctor agreed. “But look at it this way. I literally survived death by old age. If I can survive that, I can survive anything.”

Tasha smiled. “Yeah. That’s a good way to look at it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes, due time is two chapters, why do you ask?
> 
> This chapter references the TNG episode Unnatural Selection.
> 
> Also, I did intentionally put in the part with Tasha telling Pulaski she should talk to Data set up for the "meeting of the minds" in this chapter and the concurrent episode.


	7. Measure for Measure

“Pair of eights,” Worf growled, flipping over his hold card to show that it was worthless. “Commander Riker?”

The smile on the commander’s face suggested the outcome even before he revealed his own hold. His possible flush was broken, but his hold card was enough to edge out the Klingon. “Pair of queens. Thanks for playing, Worf.”

Several people groaned out loud as Will pulled the stack of chips towards himself. Worf seemed the most irritated, but given that Will had already fleeced most of the table just a few hands earlier, many of the others had been not-so-secretly rooting for Worf. Several eyes turned to Data, who had folded on the highest showing hand, a two pair.

It was Geordi who voiced what many of them were thinking. “Data, why didn’t you stay in? You could’ve had it! You would’ve had it!”

“Apparently so. However, two pair is not usually a significant hand, especially given the fact that both of my pairs were of low value. Commander Riker appeared to have a flush, and I believed Lieutenant Worf’s hold card would reveal either a third eight or a second pair, of higher value than my own. I also believed that each of them was making the same calculations that I was. I did not believe Worf would bet against Commander Riker’s possible flush with only a single pair, nor did I believe that Commander Riker would continue to bet unless he had the flush, since any hold card that did not complete the flush would leave _him_ with a weak hand.”

“Data!” O’Brien groaned. “Didn’t we just finish teaching you about bluffing?”

“Yes. However, the last time Commander Riker bluffed, it was successful only because I was unaware of the concept. Now that I am familiar with it, it did not seem likely that he, or anyone else, would attempt it.”

Kate shook her head, smiling. “Data, have you ever heard the expression ‘If the shoe fits, wear it’?”

“I do not see what footwear has to do with this game.”

Tasha laughed. “ _Expression_ , Data. It’s proverbial.”

“Proverbial. Ah. You are attempting to imply that if a strategy is successful, one should continue to employ it.”

Kate nodded. “Exactly.”

He frowned slightly. “That does not conform to my experience of strategic operations.”

Tasha couldn't help but laugh. The android turned to her. “I do not understand what is humorous about the situation. But then –”

“This one’s not on you, Data,” she interrupted with a fond smile. “You don’t have the context; no one here does. It’s – when a friend at the Academy taught me to play, I had the exact same reaction.”

“Truly?” Data smiled ever so slightly, and Tasha knew why; until now, he had assumed that his difficulty in playing this game was yet another thing that marked the difference between him and the humans he aspired to emulate. To learn that a human had experienced the same challenge reversed that, making him feel one step closer to humanity instead. “How did you overcome it?”

“I realized that card games have a random element to them. Commander Riker was able to get away with bluffing the second time because the possibility existed, from our perspective, that he really did have the cards this time around. Now, I do grant that if he bluffed _every_ time, or did something obvious while bluffing, we’d catch on, but he’s too good of a player for that.” She grinned at the first officer. “He knows exactly how to do it so we never know what he’s up to.”

Will smiled back. “Thank you.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m still taking you down. I’m just acknowledging it’s not going to be easy.”

“And on that note...” he passed the cards to her. “Your deal, Tasha.”

“Copy that.”

xxxxxxxxx

“Admiral on the bridge!”

Everyone snapped to attention at the Captain’s words, but the Admiral quickly waved off, continuing to talk strategy with Picard and Riker. Tasha half-listened, but it was clear they weren't saying anything she didn’t already know. It wasn’t until the other man, Maddox, chimed in that she heard something worth paying attention to. She had to bite back her reaction when the Admiral referred to Data as ‘your android’. _He has a name. Would it kill you to use it?_

At least Maddox managed that much. “How have you been, Data?”

“My condition does not alter with the passage of time, Commander.” It was a classic Data response, but Tasha couldn't help but think he seemed to be holding back a bit on purpose. She’d heard him answer that question much differently.

“The two of you are acquainted?” Picard asked.

“Yes,” Maddox replied evenly. “I evaluated Data when it first applied to the Academy.”

“And was the sole member of the committee to oppose my entrance on the grounds that I was not a sentient being.”

Tasha felt herself tense further at Data’s remark. That explained why he seemed to be trying to keep his distance.

Picard chose not to remark. “What exactly will this work entail?”

“I am going to disassemble Data.”

Several eyes on the bridge turned to the android at those words, but he gave little outward reaction. The explosion, when it came, came from Tactical.

“You’re going to _what_?”

Maddox turned to her, shaking his head. “Hm. Security, I presume? Figures. An engineer would understand.”

“ _I_ don’t understand? I think I understand perfectly. You’re talking about turning Data into some kind of lab experiment.”

“Back off, Lieutenant.” Still that nonchalant tone, as though her words were nothing more than an idle concern. “This isn’t your concern.”

“The safety of ship’s personnel _is_ my concern, Commander Maddox.” She’d stopped yelling, but now she’d taken on an icy tone, almost more threatening than a shout. It was the same tone Kate Pulaski had once used on a rape gang, and after seeing its effect, Tasha had made it a priority to learn it. “And right now, I see a threat to this ship’s Second Officer.”

He scoffed. “Lieutenant, don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic? We're talking about a machine.”

“Maybe you didn’t hear the rest of that committee, you know, the one that overruled you? Data _is_ a sentient being, as far as Starfleet is concerned. Your willful ignorance doesn't change that.”

“Lieutenant.” Picard put up a hand, clearly seeing that the situation was rapidly devolving. “That’s enough. Commander Maddox, Mr. Data, I'd like to speak to both of you in the Observation Lounge. Immediately. Number One, join us please. Lieutenant Yar, you have the bridge – and if you see Admiral Nakamura,” he added, “you are not to discuss this situation with him in any way, is that clear?”

She sighed audibly. “Perfectly, Captain.”

xxxxxxxxx

The door chimed. Tasha didn’t respond. She’d locked herself in her quarters the moment her duty shift was over, and there was a reason for that. She didn’t want to face the well-meaning concern of her fellow officers, and she certainly didn’t want to chance running into Nakamura or Maddox. The chime repeated. She continued to ignore it.

Then her combadge chirped. “Data to Yar.”

That got her attention. “Go ahead.”

“May I come in?”

“Data!” She laughed a bit despite herself, suddenly feeling like a fool for not having considered this possibility. “Yes, of course. Come in.”

The door slid open and he stepped through. “I am sorry to disturb you.”

“You’re not. I just didn’t want to see, well, anyone else really. I thought it was Geordi or Will or someone coming to check on me. I should’ve realized it might be you, I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. After all, there are over one thousand people currently aboard the _Enterprise_. Even reducing it to those you know well, there are still, by my count, seven other possibilities.”

She smiled, feeling a little of the weight lift off her at Data’s normalcy. “Data...can I hug you?”

“Of course. Always. Well, unless we are on duty.”

Tasha needed no further encouragement. A moment later, her arms were around the android, and his around her. “God, it’s good to see you,” she whispered. “If you knew the images I’ve had running through my head...I know Captain Picard would never have permitted Maddox to proceed on the spot, but I couldn't help thinking it anyway.”

“Human fear is not always rational. I understand that. However, you are correct about Captain Picard. He has offered me an alternative that is, if not altogether pleasing, less distasteful than what Commander Maddox intends. I believed I should tell you first; I am resigning my commission.”

She jerked back from the embrace, her head snapping up to look him in the eyes. “You’re _what_?”

“As I said, I am not eager to do so. However, I see no alternative. So long as I am a Starfleet officer, I am duty-bound to obey the orders of a superior officer. By resigning my commission, I will cease to _be_ a Starfleet officer. Maddox will no longer have the authority to compel my compliance.”

“That’s not fair, Data.” Her hands tightened, gripping at his uniform. “I _know_ what Starfleet means to you; in that, after all, you and I are very much alike. You shouldn’t have to give up the career you’ve always wanted just because one man thinks you’re more valuable as a test subject than as an active officer. Damn.” She resisted the instinct to lash out physically, knowing that in her position, she’d only end up hitting Data. “If only it _was_ just Maddox. Him we could deal with. How the hell did he get an Admiral to back him up?”

“I do not know. However, as I once remarked to Commander Riker, prejudice is a common human failing. Perhaps Maddox sought out an admiral whose prejudices aligned with his own.”

“God, Data, I don’t _believe_ this. After all you’ve done for Starfleet, things you were only able to do because they ruled that you _were_ sentient, now Nakamura is perfectly okay with saying you’re not.” She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. “What are you going to do now?”

“I do not know. There was a time I considered many options, however, my primary desire from the time of my initial activation was to join Starfleet. As such, I did not consider the other options in any depth. But I will do so now. I am capable of many things. I am certain I can find a new place to belong. However,” he admitted, “it will be difficult to find a place where I belong quite as well as I do on this _Enterprise._ My previous postings were simply assignments, but this...this has become my home.”

“I know, Data” she whispered. “It’s mine too.” She sniffed, trying not to cry. “Promise me something?”

“What?”

“Wherever you end up, call me as often as you can. Every day, if it’s feasible. And keep a spare bed open, so I can visit you on every single leave.”

“I believe that is two things.” Tasha couldn’t tell if he was serious or making one of his weak attempts at humor. “But,” he added, bending down so his lips almost touched hers, “you could ask a million things of me, and I would endeavor to grant every single one.”

“I'm going to miss you so much,” Tasha whispered as she closed the tiny gap between them, relishing the soft kiss. _Until now, it’s been just hours waiting until I could do this. Soon, it might be months._

Even after the kiss broke, Data held her close. “I will miss you as well.”

xxxxxxxxx

“Wait, let me get this straight.” Tasha barely refrained from pacing the captain’s ready room. “Yesterday, it was that he’s a Starfleet officer and can’t refuse orders, and today, now that he’s found a way to subvert the officer angle, he’s Starfleet _property_?”

The Captain sighed heavily. “I’m afraid that’s the way it’s shaping up, Lieutenant.”

“I see,” Data said softly from where he sat beside her. “From limitless options I am reduced to none, or rather one. I can only hope that Commander Maddox is more capable than it would appear.”

“No!” Tasha protested loudly. “We can’t just submit to this insanity!”

Data turned to her with a look so lost that if he weren't an android, she would have sworn he was about to cry. “It would appear I have little choice.

“No, Data,” Picard replied. “Lieutenant Yar is correct. You are _not_ going to submit. We're going to fight this.”

Tasha looked up suddenly, feeling renewed hope at her Captain’s determined words. _If anyone can win that fight for Data, he can_. “How?”

“I challenged the ruling. Captain Louvois will be compelled to hold a hearing. We will put to rest this question of your legal status once and for all. Now, I have been asked to represent you, but if there is some other officer you would prefer?”

Data shook his head. “Captain, I have complete confidence in your ability to represent my interests.”

“I know _I’d_ prefer if we could get another judge,” Tasha commented. “How can Captain Louvois be expected to be objective? It’s her own ruling that’s being challenged.”

“Natasha.” The sound of her full name, especially with his unique pronunciation, was enough to stop the flood of words. “Believe me, I understand your concerns. But I’ve known Phillipa Louvois a very long time, and I have confidence in her ability to critically examine every angle, including her own preconceptions. She may be overly attached to the letter of the law, but I suspect that she still understands its spirit. I believe we have as good a chance with her as we would with any officer. I know it might be hard for _you_ to believe –”

“Captain,” she interrupted softly, “you are as good a judge of character as any man I have ever known. If you say that she can be trusted to be impartial, then I can accept your belief.”

It had been meant as a simple statement of fact, but it seemed to affect the Captain deeply. For a moment, he simply stared at her in astonishment. When he spoke again, his voice was a bit shaky. “Yes, well...” He cleared his throat, then proceeded, the quiver gone. “Well, I’m glad to hear it, because I’m going to need you to assist in Data’s defense.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because if anyone can make the court see that Data is a person, it’s you. I’ve watched the security tape of your conversation with Graves. That man had _everything_ to lose, and you still managed to convince him that Data’s life was worth sparing. All I’m asking is for you to do the same thing here. Yes,” he admitted, “there are things about a court proceeding that will make it more difficult, in some ways, than confronting Graves. But I am fully confident in your ability to make Captain Louvois see reason, even beyond anything I could do.”

Now it was Tasha’s turn to be struck speechless. Even when she realized she should respond, it took several attempts to form the words. “Yes, Captain. I understand. I’ll do it. For this –” she turned to Data, “for _you_ , I’ll do anything.”

xxxxxxxxx

As Guinan walked away, leaving Picard shaking his head, another voice came from behind him. “Captain? What’s happened? What’s wrong?”

He turned to face his security chief, taking in the concerned, frightened look on her face. “Commander Riker fired a very...effective opening salvo. But don’t worry,” he added quickly. “that was just opening arguments. We still have a lot of ammunition in our own arsenal.”

“I still can’t believe Commander Riker is doing this,” she said softly. Until this trial, she could never have imagined a situation that would cause her to wish the _Enterprise_ first officer was less competent, but in this moment, it was all she could think.

“He had no choice, Lieutenant,” Picard chided her gently. “Captain Louvois backed him into a corner. If she thought he was taking it easy on Data, it would be much worse than anything he could say in that courtroom.”

“I know. I _know_. It’s just...sometimes it’s hard to remember, that’s all. I’m so used to people treating Data as a commodity because they actually see him that way. And right now...right now I am _so_ angry about the way Data is being treated. It’s hard not to project it onto Commander Riker.” She met his eyes, almost pleading. “How do I do it, Captain? How do I put aside these feelings?”

“Put aside?” he repeated. “No, no. Even if that were possible, I wouldn't ask you to do that. No, I need you to hold onto that anger.”

Her jaw dropped. “You need me to _what?_ ”

“Exactly as I said. Ah, you haven’t heard that a lot, have you?”

“Um, no, sir,” she replied, still in disbelief. “Most people tell me I need to control my anger, that my temper will get me into trouble.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that.” He smiled very slightly, despite all the stress weighing him down. “No, control is important, no question. But there’s a difference between controlling an emotion and trying to get rid of it. Anger can be a powerful motivator, the thing that drives us to reject the status quo and demand better. Tasha...that anger you feel about the way Data has been treated? I feel it too. I’ve channeled it into doing everything I can to protect him.”

“And you think I should do the same.”

“In essence, yes. Now, you will need to fight to control your impulses, to respond calmly even to hard questions. Don’t let your feelings control you, but you _can_ let them motivate you. Your testimony is almost entirely based in emotion. It’s not a bad thing if Captain Louvois gets to see that.”

“Okay,” she replied after a moment. “I’ll try.”

“Good. Now, just be ready and stand by. I don’t think Data’s testimony will take long, and you’re up right after him.”

“Understood, Captain. Thank you.”

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha placed her hand on the console and allowed the computer to verify her identity. She hardly heard its confirmation. Her eyes were locked on Data. _Focus your anger_ , she reminded herself. _Let it motivate you, but not control you._ You _are in control._

“Lieutenant,” Picard began as he approached her, “Mr. Data has testified that you are, to use the vernacular, his girlfriend. Can you confirm this?”

She tore her eyes away from Data to look at Picard. “Yes. I am romantically involved with Data.”

“Well, then, if Commander Maddox is correct, it must be a very difficult relationship for you.”

If anyone else had said it, she might well have lost her temper in spite of her best efforts. But she knew Picard believed in Data’s personhood as much as she did, and that allowed her to see the opening he was giving her. “On the contrary. I’ve never been happier. Data is a wonderful partner, and I love him very dearly.”

“Does it bother you that he is unable to return your feelings?”

“With all due respect, sir, I am not certain that is true. It’s true that Data doesn’t have access to human feelings. But to say that he is incapable of sentiment is overly simplistic at best. I have heard Data say many times that one person or another is special to him. How could anyone be ‘special’ to him if he were the blank slate you suggest?”

“Lieutenant, you are aware of Commander Maddox’s contentions about the nature of Data’s existence. What is your take on those claims?”

“Objection!” Riker protested. “Lieutenant Yar is not qualified to evaluate Maddox’s claims.”

Picard turned towards Louvois. “I am not asking her to evaluate the scientific veracity of those claims. Her unique relationship with Data makes her as qualified as anyone to speak on the matter of his personhood.”

“Overruled,” Louvois said after a moment’s consideration. “The witness may answer.”

“I think Commander Maddox is blinded by his own agenda. He desperately wants to study Data, and so he deliberately disregards any information that would make that desire problematic. We have seen that he becomes quite defensive at any suggestion that Data might be a person. If he is so certain that the evidence will bear him out, why does he try to shout down anyone who offers that evidence?”

“Objection!” Riker called out again. “Argumentative.”

“ _That’s_ sustained. The witness will refrain from speculating about the motives of other parties. Lieutenant, please confine your testimony to your own knowledge and observations."

"Yes, Your Honor. I apologize."

Louvois acknowledged the apology with a nod. "Captain Picard, please proceed."

"Lieutenant." He turned back to Tasha. "What is your opinion of Commander Maddox's _contention_?"

 _Control your anger_ , she chided herself, embarrassed at her slip. "I don't believe it to be correct. As was just pointed out to me, I cannot be certain exactly how Commander Maddox came to believe as he does, but however he developed that belief, it is simply not compatible with what I know of Data."

“Then you believe Commander Data is a person?”

“I do. I have had the chance to observe Data in his day-to-day life both on and off duty for over a year. He pursues creative endeavors. He socializes with the crew. He is, as I have mentioned, in a romantic relationship; he has also formed several close platonic friendships with members of the crew. Just in this past few months, he held the hand of one officer as she gave birth and cared for another as she faced death. He is so much more than simply a computer. A computer can only do as it's told, as it's programmed, but Data -- he makes choices. Not deductions based on logic, but _choices_ , as any human would make. He _chose_ to resign from Starfleet rather than accept a transfer. He  _chose_ to challenge the ruling." She turned back to Louvois. “Commander Maddox -- and this  _is_ an observation, not inference -- Commander Maddox's argument is ultimately predicated on the suggestion that Data just doesn’t ‘feel’ like a person. Everything prosecuting counsel has said and done here today has been based on that idea -- demonstrating his strength, his mechanical components. Well, I say he feels as much like a person as anyone I’ve ever known. Are my feelings less valid than his?” 

Picard let the statement hang in the air for a moment before speaking. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I have no further questions for this witness.”

“Commander Riker, do you wish to cross?” Captain Louvois asked.

“I do.” Riker stood. “Lieutenant, besides with Commander Data, how many romantic relationships have you been involved in?”

“Only one.”

“Lieutenant, have you engaged in -“ he struggled for a court-appropriate word, “physical intimacy with Commander Data?”

“Objection!” Picard was on his feet. “This line of questioning is not relevant.”

“The nature of their relationship is relevant to this witness’ testimony. Captain Picard suggested as much just a few minutes ago.”

“Objection overruled. Answer the question, Lieutenant.”

She bit her lip. “Yes. Once.”

He paused a moment, then abruptly changed direction. “Lieutenant, is Commander Data the only man you’ve ever had sexual contact with?”

She looked up at him, stunned. “You know the answer to that.”

“Lieutenant.” Louvois spoke up from the bench. “You are required to answer the question for the record. Commander Riker, if you have a point, please make it, and quickly, or I _will_ sustain an objection. You are very close to an inappropriate line of questioning.”

“Commander Data is –” she stopped, swallowing hard. “He’s the only man I’ve ever had consensual sexual contact with.” _Stop it, Will,_ she begged silently. _Now. Please. Don’t do this to me._

“But you have had other, non-consensual experiences. In fact, isn’t it true that you were subject to rape and sexual trauma multiple times over the course of your childhood?”

“Y-yes.”

Picard was standing to object, but Riker rushed ahead. “Then isn’t it _possible_ that it’s _you_ , not Maddox, making assumptions to fit a theory? That you _need_ Data to be a person just so that your one decent sexual experience actually means something? Or that you might have a skewed perspective on Data because your only point of comparison is the men who raped you?”

“Objection! Objection!” Picard’s repeated shout echoed through the courtroom.

But Louvois hadn’t even waited for the objection to be made. She was already yelling too. “Commander, you are out of order and out of line! In my chambers, _now._ Five minute recess. Lieutenant,” she added in a softer tone, “you may step down.”

Tasha was halfway out of her seat even before Louvois spoke. She didn’t care about being officially excused; she needed to get away, out of the spotlight, and she needed it now.

Her legs trembled dangerously beneath her, and she stumbled, struggling to keep her balance. Then, all at once, she felt pressure at her waist and realized something was holding her up, the grip secure but gentle. “Tasha? Are you all right?”

With a sigh, almost a gasp, of relief, she fell forward into his arms. “Just a little shaken. I don’t like to think about it.” Tasha spoke so quietly she could barely hear her own voice, but she knew Data would hear.

He did. He pulled her closer. “You are safe now,” he whispered. “They cannot hurt you anymore.”

She leaned into him for a few moments, until her legs began to feel solid again.“I’m sorry, Data,” she gasped out when she finally felt like she could stand. “You’ve got enough to worry about without adding my problems into the mix.”

He patted her back gently. “This is not your fault. And at a linear computational speed of sixty trillion operations per second, I am capable of caring for you without compromising my own situation.”

“Look, Data...” she hesitated, but it was quickly clear she had little choice in this matter. “I can’t stay in here right now. I need a couple of minutes. I’ll try to be back for the ruling, okay?”

“I understand.” He bent down and kissed her gently. “I know that was not easy. And I am...very grateful that you were willing to do that for me. Even though you should not have had to.”

“Anything, Data. I meant it.”

xxxxxxxxx

“Now, tell me, Commander, what is Data?”

Picard’s words were the first thing Tasha heard as she slipped back into the courtroom, having finally managed to collect herself. She avoided looking at Riker. She wasn’t sure she could keep her composure if she saw his face. She slipped in beside Data, who acknowledged her with a nod and a small smile, offering his hand to her as Picard repeated his question.

“A machine!” Maddox all but shouted.

“Is he?” the Captain pressed. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“You see,” Picard continued, “he’s met two of your three criteria for sentience, so what if he meets the third, consciousness in even the smallest degree? What is he then? I don’t know. Do you?” He turned to Riker. “Do you?” He repeated the question, this time to Captain Louvois. “Do you? Well, that’s the question you have to answer. Your Honor, the courtroom is a crucible. In it we burn away irrelevancies until we are left with a pure product, the truth for all time. Now, sooner or later, this man or others like him will succeed in replicating Commander Data. And the decision you reach here today will determine how we will regard this creation of our genius. It will reveal the kind of a people we are, what he is destined to be. It will reach far beyond this courtroom and this one android. It could significantly redefine the boundaries of personal liberty and freedom, expanding them for some, savagely curtailing them for others. Are you prepared to condemn him and all who come after him to servitude and slavery? Your Honor, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life. Well, there it sits. Waiting.” He approached her and continued more softly. “You wanted a chance to make law. Well, here it is. Make a good one.”

Louvois stared at Data for a long moment. “It sits there looking at me,” she began, “and I don’t know what it is. This case has dealt with metaphysics, with questions best left to saints and philosophers. I'm neither competent nor qualified to answer those. I've got to make a ruling, to try to speak to the future. Is Data a machine? Yes. Is he the property of Starfleet?”

The brief pause was the longest moment of Tasha’s life.

“No.”

Eyes wide, Tasha gripped Data’s hand so hard she might have actually injured a human.

“We have all been dancing around the basic issue,” Louvois was saying. “Does Data have a soul? I don’t know that he has. I don’t know that I have. But I have got to give him the freedom to explore that question himself. It is the ruling of this court that Lieutenant Commander Data has the freedom to choose.”

She brought down the gavel. In the next moment, Tasha threw herself at Data, embracing him tightly, all sense of protocol lost. He returned the embrace for a moment before gently extracting himself and turning to Maddox. “I formally refuse to undergo your procedure.”

“I will cancel the transfer order.” Maddox still seemed slightly shell-shocked.

“Thank you. And, Commander, continue your work. When you are ready, I will still be here. I find some of what you propose intriguing.” Without another word, he reached for Tasha’s hand. She took it, gripping tightly as they walked out.

xxxxxxxxx

“Tasha?”

She instinctively looked over her shoulder, but as soon as she registered who it was that had spoken her name, she turned back, looking away from him. “Leave me alone.”

“I know,” Will said with a sigh. “That’s pretty much how I feel right now too.”

“If you’re looking for sympathy, you’ve come to the wrong place.” She still didn’t bother to look at him.

“No. No, I don’t deserve that. I was looking for a place to be alone, I figured this would do it. I didn’t expect to find anyone here...especially you. Why aren’t you in the holodeck with the others? You’ve earned that celebration.”

“I don’t _want_ to be there, okay? Is that clear enough for you?”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“What’s _wrong_?” she repeated, finally turning to face him. “How can you ask me that? How can you just stand there and _ask me that_?”

“Tasha...look, I know you’re mad at me. All I can say is that I didn’t know what to do. If I’d refused to prosecute Data, there would have been _no_ chance. Captain Louvois –”

“This isn’t about Data!” she interrupted, almost shouting over him. “I understood that, you know, and that’s the worst part. Ever since I heard you were prosecuting, I’ve been forcing myself to remember that it wasn’t your choice, that you had to do it, that I shouldn’t be angry at you, and what do you do? You get me up on the stand and take advantage of me!”

“Take advantage of you? What do you mean? Wait...” He paused as it suddenly seemed to click. “You’re talking about my questioning of you? Look, I know I crossed a line, but –”

“ _Crossed a line_?” she repeated, her voice so loud it seemed to echo off the observation lounge walls. “That’s easy for you to say! You don’t know what it’s like to have those images in your head and never be able to get rid of them! To know that they’re there, just below the surface, waiting to torment me all over again! It’s bad enough you forced me to tell two complete strangers about what happened to me, it’s worse that you acted like that has _anything_ to do with my relationship with Data, but you – you forced me into a flashback, Will! How could you _do_ that to me?”

“Tasha, I - I don’t – I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

Tasha could no longer keep a hold on her anger. It drained from her, leaving her feeling more lost and helpless than anything. “All I wanted was for you to _stop_. I tried to ask...I couldn't...I was hoping so much that you’d see...” She could feel tears burning her eyes, and she quickly turned away to hide them. “I’m going to my quarters. You can have the lounge. Just leave me alone. Please.”

Her last words were unnecessary. Will couldn't even imagine following her now. The guilt over Data had been bad enough; knowing he’d hurt Tasha too, in a way he never could have imagined, was killing him. _How in God’s name did that ever seem like a good idea? How could I do that to her?_

“Commander?” Will looked up to find Data staring at him. “Sir, there is a celebration on the Holodeck.”

Will shook his head. “I have no right to be there.”

“Because you failed in your task?”

“No, God, no.” Of all the things for the android to suggest – “I came _that_ close to winning, Data. I almost cost you your life!”

“Is it not true that had you refused to prosecute, Captain Louvois would have ruled summarily against me?”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“That action injured you,” Data commented, “and saved me. I will not forget it.”

He sat up slowly. “No, Data, I’m not the only one who was injured. I’ve hurt Tasha badly, far worse than I realized. That alone is unforgivable. I’m sorry, Data. I’m really not in the mood to celebrate.”

xxxxxxxxx

Will barely even looked up at his Captain. “I guess you’d like to ream me out for the courtroom incident too?” He sighed. “It’s no more than I deserve. But if you want to know what came over me...honestly, I wish I knew. I was so afraid she’d say I wasn’t trying hard enough, I guess I was trying to prove that I _was_. God, I – I didn’t mean to hurt Tasha. I knew I was pushing her, I knew I’d get her _mad_ , but I didn’t know I was _hurting_ her.”

“No, I don’t imagine you did,” Picard replied evenly. “I know you’d never do it on purpose. But that doesn’t make it any less painful for her.”

He sighed. “I was trying to do what I thought, well, a _real_ prosecutor would do. But a real prosecutor would recognize that line, wouldn’t he?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible. But you’re still missing a piece, Will. You _weren't_ just a prosecutor. You were her friend, someone she trusted, and you betrayed that trust. _That_ is what she is going to struggle most to forgive.”

“You talk like you know,” Will said after a moment. “Did you –?”

“Do what you did? No, not exactly. I was on the other side, Tasha’s side. You see, during the _Stargazer_ court martial, one of the prosecutors was a JAG officer I knew...quite well. Like you, she found herself in a conflict of interest, and like you, she was desperate to prove she was unbiased. So desperate that she...well, she brought something into the courtroom that had no business being there. Something very personal to me.”

“Like I did to Tasha.” He sighed again, burying his face in his hands. “Did you – were you ever able to forgive her?”

“After quite a few years. But,” he added at Will’s dismayed look, “that wasn’t just because of what she did. It was because I hardly had a chance. By the time the court martial was over, she had resigned her commission and disappeared. I didn’t see her again for a decade. It’s hard to forgive someone who doesn’t stick around. If you want Tasha to forgive you, Will, then you have to make an effort. You have to _earn_ her forgiveness, not just wait for it."

Will shook his head slowly in amazement. “I...I don’t know what to say. This is the second time in two days I’ve gone into a room expecting to be chewed out, and gotten a firm rebuke mixed with advice instead.”

“Well, I can see that you’re already taking yourself to task over this. In any case, it’s more important that you understand _why_ you were wrong than that you feel bad about it.”

“I do, sir. Captain Louvois made sure of that. She didn’t mention all the same things you did, but she did say...well, she said I might have done more damage than I realized. That Starfleet officers need to be able to trust each other, and that betraying Tasha’s trust, her confidence, could affect how eager people are to trust me in the future.”

He looked at Picard finally, only to see that the Captain himself now wore a surprised expression of his own. “She really said that?” Then, to Will’s astonishment, he began to laugh. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Sir?”

“Let’s just say...I have a strong feeling that she may have borrowed that lecture from something she was once on the receiving end of.”

“What makes you say that?”

“What, you expect me to give you all the answers, Number One?” He shook his head. “No, I think I’ve given you all you need to figure this one out for yourself. Now...dismissed.”

“Yes, Captain.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the episode The Measure of a Man. The title is partly a play on that episode name and partly based on the quotes that supposedly inspired the title for Shakespeare’s play of the same name. The quotes talk about being judged and things coming back to bite you, so it seemed apt.
> 
> The description of what Phillipa Louvois did to Picard is based on the TNG novel The Buried Age, one of my favorites and pretty much the only EU work I keep as canon for this universe in its entirety. In general, I use or disregard EU material at my discretion, usually based on what I need to tell the story. What Phillipa told Riker is similar to what her own superior tells her in the book. I will be following up on the matter of the argument between Tasha and Will, but I figured they'd need time before they were ready, and given that this entire chapter takes place over a few days, I didn't want to add in a chapter that's supposed to be a week later or more.
> 
> If you're enjoying this, please feel free to drop me a comment! I'd love to hear what you think!


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